Lois Lane, ace girl reporter for the Daily Planet, is well known for being Superman's girlfriend. But clearly the demanding life of a modern newspaperwoman is simply not enough to keep today's on-the-go lady professional completely fulfilled. So Lois finds herself filling those empty hours with a wide variety of completely meaningless tasks.
For one thing, she's president of a club for "girls" in honor of Superman. I wonder what important business is discussed at these vital gatherings...?
11:49am - meeting brought to order.
11:50am - Minutes of last meeting read.
11:52am - Floor opened for new business.
11:53am - Motion proposed - "Superman Is Great."
11:54am - Motion seconded and passed unanimously.
11:55am - Meeting adjourned, reconvened at undisclosed location. (daquiris)
Of course her efforts to discover Superman's secret identity take up a lot of time - but not quite enough. So she's extended this search to ALL super-heroes. That's why she always carries the fingerprints of six people suspected of being Robin. You never know when it might come in handy!
Sometimes Lois takes the neighbor boys out for a little science experiment.
And when they wind up in the hospital, who's there to assist the doctors? Volunteer nurse Lois Lane! Do you even HAVE a job any more, Lois?
But it's not all Lois wasting time. Superman is more than happy to lend his super powers to any number of fantastically useless schemes, some involving funny hats and what appears to be self-actualization therapy.
Lois even has her own fan club, which is made up of teenage girls who want to bob their hair and become reporters and chase Superman and star in their own comic books.
And every once in awhile Lois takes the time-bubble out for a spin back in time to pre-catastrophe Krypton, where she molests baby Superman.
Yeah, you thought I was kidding, didn't you? I am glad, however, to see Krypton advanced enough to deploy state of the art vinyl-siding technology in their modernistic ranch homes of the future.
But let's be honest here. Perry White isn't exactly giving Lois challenging assignments.
That's right, Lois, get out there and cover that big scoop on that other country's wax museum! The public DEMANDS the facts! If this isn't vital reporting, I don't know what is!
Go ahead, Lois, enjoy your vacation! It's not like you're ever here working anyway!
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