Put on your rented shoes and give your sweaty palms an extra thirty seconds over the hot-air hand dryer, because we're heading for a story that's RIGHT DOWN YOUR ALLEY!! Haw haw!


Charlton was tapping into a rich vein of subconcious fear with this story, which deals in the terror we all share of being trapped in a giant bowling alley while portly men in loud shirts use us to break the 7-10 split. I mean, seriously, if you ever were actually trapped on the alley when somebody was bowling, that could really hurt your ankles.


Our story concerns Sid, a terrible bowler whose girlfriend is both dismissive and contemptous of his earnest desire to master this sport. Sid's got guts! Fight on, Sid!


Sid does indeed battle on, and soon his girlfriend's criticism of lousy bowling has changed to criticism of his skill at bowling. I get the feeling there's no pleasing this woman.


Without the restraining influence of his lady, Sid plunges into nonstop all night bowling sessions that only leave him unsatisfied, groggy during daylight hours, and disrespectful to authority. Give it a rest, Sid, you'll wear something out.


Dreaming of using a giant bowling ball to smash the state and all its restrictive rules? Congratulations. You're insane.


Leona, huffy at being ignored for dreams of state-smashing bowling, delivers a final ultimatum. Doesn't she recognize the signs of addiction? Sid needs Bowlers Anonymous and their "12-pin Program"! You can recognize the seriousness of his problem by the giant "BOWL" sound effect above his head.


And so, Sid... the HUNTER... becomes the HUNTED!!!!


Oh, it was all a dream! Whew. Now to get back to the reality of dozing in bowling alleys as pushy strangers try to hustle you . Um. Can I get back to that dream now?


Next day at his menial, bowling-habit-supporting job, Sid discovers their moving assignment involves a giant bowling ball! Just like in his dream! Ironic, isn't it? No? Just stupid? Okay, I'll go with that.


No! It's rolling right at me! Who would have thought a two-ton polished sphere with no restraints or supports or safety precautions of any kind would start rolling down even the slightest incline, endangering life and limb? Certainly the Giant Bowling Ball Moving And Dream Reenactment Company of Walla Walla, Washington never envisioned such an occurance.


OH THE IRONY! Sid was cured of his bowling addiction by sudden violent injury, and now his girlfriend has the fever herself, even seductively inviting him to check out her "curves"! YA CAN'T WINS WITH DAMES, I TELLS YA!
So remember kids - only heartbreak and crush injuries await you at the bowling alley. BE SMART - DON'T START!



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