WHO LOVES YA BABY!!
That was the catchphrase of Lieutenant Kojak, the tough cueball detective who kept the streets of New York free from crime and made the mid 1970s city the center of a glorious "golden age". Wait a minute, NYC in the 70s was a bombed-out hellhole. Anyway, Kojak's adventures continued onto the printed page in a series of really weird British comics. Let's watch!


As we can see here, Kojak takes a leisurely stroll through some of New York's perfectly legal casinos, and... wait a minute. Casinos?


Uh oh, crime outside the "delicatessan"! A menacing thug practices his Monty Python routines while a shopkeeper trembles in fear!


The police are mystified by free gifts from local merchants, including something called "petrol". Yeah, that's what they call it in New York City, "petrol." Cheerio pip pip, I'm off to fill up with petrol and then to Times Square to visit the casino. Crocker's face appears normal in this panel. Stay tuned.


Luckily the criminal is apprehended as he's about to board a jumbo jet, the kind that has a passenger door in the tail and no wings or landing gear. Kojak demonstrates his tough New York side as he predicts "gaol" for this criminal. That's what they call it in New York, "gaol".


While catching up with his friend Manager (not "the manager", but "manager"), Kojak proves his amazing detective powers by predicting what was happening in the very next panel! At this stage Crocker's forehead begins to show signs of abnormal growth.


Look at the fire damage? Why not get a doctor to look at Crocker's freakish head! Nice forehead Crocker, what are you gonna do, rent it out for billboards?


An exciting action-packed panel in which... somebody calmly asks Kojak to... put something down. But jagged explosive panel lines = excitement! Right? Right? CROCKER FACE UPDATE: The face continues to shrink, making him resemble Dick Tracy villain Little Face Finney.


Menaced by Crocker's giant forehead and Nixon-style jowls, a potential insurance fraud is diverted. Whew! Let's wordlessly enjoy a little champagne. Goodbye Kojak! Goodbye "New York"!

Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!

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