It's the go-go 1980s! Literally DOZENS of fly-by-night entrepreneurs are making hundreds and even THOUSANDS of dollars in the most exciting industry in the world - direct market comic books! How can YOU get in on this deal of a lifetime? Just listen to Gary Brodsky!
Gary Brodsky, son of Marvel Comics managing editor Sol Brodsky (get it? "Sol's Son"? Hah?) is here to teach YOU the secrets of CASHING IN on the greatest moneymaking opportunity since the Pet Rock! Why, the market is simply EXPLODING with original comics by hot new talent!
See? See how original and daring and new these concepts are? Why it's no surprise that investo-- er, I mean specul - what I mean to say is, it's no surprise that readers are buying two, three, five copies each of these must have collectors items that are completely original and not ripoffs in any way! Why, in twenty years each one of these comics will be playing a vital role in the twenty-five-cent clearance bins of every comic shop in North America!
Can't you feel the excitement as clueless wannabe artists fork over their college money to self-publish their own take on the crazy animal + martial arts theme -a timeless theme as old as last week? Sure you can! Now I want you to ask yourself one simple question!
That's right! Are you ready to PUBLISH? Quit staring at my dopey mug and answer the question! Because if you aren't ready to add one more 32-page black and white fake Ninja Turtle to this glorious festering junkpile of an industry, then I and my goofy snaggletoothed grin have no use for you!
Here we are on page 26 of this informative how-to guide - the first mention of those minor details like WRITERS and ARTISTS! Our key phrase here is DON'T OVERPAY! Who needs talented professionals? If you look hard enough you can find people willing to draw comics in exchange for pennies! That's the way to create lasting artwork that will advance the medium - CHEAP IT OUT!
Remember -every dime you pay writers and artists comes out of YOUR POCKET! That's money you could use for hookers and cocaine! Don't let these artsy-fartsy prima donnas ruin YOUR bottom line! Get those new artists who are "willing to work for cut rate" - in other words, people without any clue of what their work is worth. Sooner or later they'll wise up, but a new crop of "talent" shows up at the bus station every day! And if you have strong creative concepts, the sky's the limit!
Strong creative concepts - who said they had to be YOURS? No bandwagon is too full for you to find your spot! Ninja turtles one year, zombies the next - why buck the trend? It's raining money, go grab a bucket!
Don't take our word for it! Check out some of these incredible winners benefiting from the wisdom of Solson Publications!
Let's see - Ninjas! More ninjas! A daring new concept- Ninjas! And of course the Training Manual on how to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! Oh, and here's something daringly new and different... a samurai walrus. I dunno about that one. Seems kind of freaky. How many ninjas are in it? Reassure me, disembodied head of Gary Brodsky!
Sultry Teenage Super Foxes AND the floating, genial, strangely reassuring head of Gary Brodsky? Sign me up! Sign me up for all your comic book publishing and shameless narcissistic personality disorders, Gary! I want to publish MY own comics and worry about artists and writers somewhere down the line! I want my OWN disembodied head dispensing wisdom at random, gazing serenely from comic book racks across the nation! I want to flood the industry with hundreds of crappy ripoff comics sold to greedy small-time operators convinced they've got the next hot must-have double-bag item!
And... I want the T-SHIRT!
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