WEREWOLF is another one of those Dell superhero comics from the mid 1960s where they combined the monster craze with the superhero craze in an attempt to make some of the worst comics ever printed. How successful were they? Witness WEREWOLF for yourself and find out!


Illustrated by BLUE BEETLE cartoonist Tony "Mr. Limpet" Tallarico, Werewolf here lives up to his furry savage nature by being a guy in a form fitting black suit who punches movie theater ushers with the help of his dog.


Curious about the origin of this fantastic character? I'm pretty sure you weren't. But we're going to give it to you anyway. He was an Air Force major named Wiley Wolf - yes, that was his real name - who crashed his jet because all his piloting attention was used describing every single thing in front of his eyes to the bored guys in the tower back at the base. I'd sabotage his plane too. Maybe this will shut you up, Wiley!


After six months alone with the wolves, Wiley reflects on.. the exciting new way of life he's learned? Buddy, you didn't crash land at the New School! That ain't Esalen over the hill there!


Whatever abilities Wiley may have gained from his "transformation" in the wilderness - abilities that include vitamin deficencies, snow blindness, rickets, parasites, and an unnatural attraction to canines - try as you might to figure out how they may be used to "work for good," you'll be sidelined by the whimsical mention of the Washington Senators and those freakish Mickey Mouse hands on Yoo Hoo Girl here. Tony Tallarico's not so great at drawing hands.


The CIA naturally assumes that crashlanded pilots will make friends with wolves, be declared dead, and be perfect candidates to become secret agents. They give Mr. Wolf a secret new code name that no one will ever guess, because it has the word "Wolf" in it. Your tax dollars at work, folks.


More great hand action from Tony! Tiny hands throw Wolf! Paunchy hands awkwardly grasp tiny pistols! Beefy hands hold stopwatches! Sausage-shaped fingers break boards! All in a day's work for the Hands Of Tallarico!


You didn't know this, but you can totally change your appearance by flexing the muscles of your face, and you can hypnotize people into subconsciously... holding expressions... hairpieces or eyeglasses... called up... no, sorry, I don't have any idea what they're talking about here and those scary faces in the lower panel are kind of freaking me out. I think the message here is DON'T TAKE DRUGS, KIDS.


They also give him a super suit which has the super ability to be the easiest goddamn thing in the world to draw, because Tony "I'll just draw a silhouette of a bat" Tallarico is kind of lazy, kind of, sometimes.


Fat old flasher stripping behind the boathouse? No, it's Werewolf, the super hero with the amazing ability to be a flat black shape that's really easy to draw!


Here in this exciting montage we see Werewolf in total easy to draw action as he throws bombs, tosses rope, runs fast, throws bombs, and mumbles. We can tell it's USAF Major Wiley because he also never shuts up.


What's this? A paunchy hand points a tiny pistol at easy-to-draw silhouettes of a man, some planes, and giant penises? Luckily a small boy hugs Fidel Castro, allowing Werewolf to pop him one right in the breadbox. Another second would have been "to" late!


A mumbling man, a dead guy, a confused boy, and a dog that pulls levers. If this isn't comic book gold I don't know what is.


And so, a giant unidentified explosion destroys all the evil Cuban missiles. Except that they were later removed because photos were taken of them. I think somebody's confused here, and I think it's the writers.


I just wanted to take this panel out of context because it features a disturbed boy, a dead guy, a mumbling black silhouette, and a dog. It's like one of those drawings abused children have to make up stories about so the cops know who to arrest. In this case I'm pretty sure I know who the guilty party is. Hint: he can't draw hands.

Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!

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