Welcome back to Female Studies and Body Issues 101. You may remember in our first class, we studied a particularly heinous 70s romance comic about an insecure fatty fatty fat fat finding true love with an abusive asshole boss. Let's look at something a little different this time! After all, this is a DC comic, and they're way better quality than Charlton, right?
Eating disorders are a serious problem affecting today's youth; in this case it seems our case study subject, "Julie", prefers marshmallow sundaes to boys, indicating a possible neurological condition involving conversations with dessert toppings. Also indicative of a neurological disorder: that large floral print vest and high tolerance for incredibly bitchy "friends".
When confronted by random male, the subject's eyes begin oozing fluid, which male mistakes for tears. Indicative of possible eye infection. I don't know. Maybe she's really crying but for some reason unable to request he mind his own damn business. Okay, she's as insecure as the woman in the other story linked above, but still, this story is very different!
See? this guy at least seems like less of a douche than the boss in that other story. He can see her inner beauty. Also, I think he's checking out her ass. Maybe he likes a little junk in the trunk. Well, that's okay.
PROTIP: When going on a first date, be sure to make extremely self-deprecating remarks at every opportunity. Guys love that awkward feeling they get each time the person they're talking to insults themselves out of the blue. What better way to be able to say both "I am an absolutely worthless person" AND "It's all about ME ME ME" at the very same time?
YES. Replace your addiction to food with an addiction to OLE LOVER BOY HERE. I GOT SOME SAUSAGE YOU CAN STICK IN YOUR MOUTH BABY.
Bear in mind, these two just met like 5 minutes ago.
Well, women may not be able to fake love either but they can sure fake everything else! AM I RIGHT GIRLS HUH HUH?????? LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HUSBAND FANG
There's nothing quite like good friends to give support when you're trying to improve yourself, right?
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MONITOR. No, I haven't cut and pasted two panels together. They were side by side like this in the comic. She goes from being as fat as she was at the start to suddenly being a slim va-va-va-voom babe, instantaneously. I assume the "inside change" she's talking about is a gastric bypass operation.
Oh snap. Blondie should just be glad Former Fatty's revenge fantasies involve harmless things like dancing with other girls' dates and not letter bombs or something.
"I thought we were friends! I was rude and condescending to you when you were fat and made fun of you when you started losing weight!! YOU'RE NOT TREATING ME NEARLY BADLY ENOUGH TO BE MY FRIEND sob sob".
Yes, something was missing. What she was missing is how very delicious food is. Because it is!
"Of course I forgive you! Now that you're fat again you're no longer a threat to me!"
It's a complicated relationship these girls have.
Yes, this time it will end differently... obviously everyone likes her better when she's fat, so HAND OVER THAT BAKED ALASKA SUCKER.
So you see, this was definitely not as horrible as the last time a fat girl tried to find romance...
Wait a minute. Go back to that other page. Have a look at that artwork... um... hmmm...
Y'know folks, I understand artists have deadlines. I understand "swiping" art from another artist is an unpleasant reality, perhaps even a necessity for a freelancer. But was it really necessary to steal art FROM ANOTHER STORY ABOUT FATTIES FINDING LOVE?
Was that really the only picture you could find of a girl posing in her underwear in what appears to be a motel room? Really? REALLY??? I mean, the freaking thing is almost a complete trace job for crying out...
I mean... even the freaking lamp is...
Well, I didn't think it was possible to make that story worse than it all ready seemed but I guess there really is no bottom to the depths Of Charlton Comics!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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