Marvel's early 60s science-fictional suspense shock-ending comics!! Home to fantastic super-monsters like Groot, Googam, Taboo, the Blip, Pildoor The Plunderer From Outer Space, The Creature From Krogarr and....
- and, um, Simon Queel, elevator operator. No, we're not exaggerating - he's really evil. He fired a guy!
Oh, and he's a brown-noser. Such a monster!
Okay, the caption says "Simon goes into his act", but I don't think they meant "standing on a stool imitating Superman."
Falling at terminal velocity inside an elevator shaft? Plenty of time to mess around on top of that car. Ten, twelve seconds, even!
Uh-oh! Looks like Simon Queel is about to get what he rightfully deserves for being unpleasant and greedy! Five bucks? Ten? Maybe a twenty!
Hey, looks like somebody in Editorial actually read this story and decided that death, Satan, and/or Hell was a bit too drastic a punishment for being a jerky elevator operator. So, quick like a bunny, let's add a thought balloon. Whew, now Simon Queel is a murderer and deserves death, or whatever vague punishment is alluded to in the confusing ending.
For a change of pace let's look at a Lee-Kirby sci-fi masterpiece with a shock ending that will leave you gasping with astonishment. Or maybe just rolling your eyes in sarcasm, either one.
NOT-ALWAYS-THE-WAY-THEY-APPEAR?? You mean this story isn't ALREADY stupid?
So, we came from Earth, and we COULD go back there, but for some reason nobody will mention we WON'T go back there, and our super science has determined that the BEST way to keep people from going back there is to tell them not to, but fail to explain why. And thus the universal scientific law of "Because I Told You So" came into being.
And our hero takes convenient flying lessons, distracts the guards, steals a spaceship, and spans the vast galaxies of the universe, all because his civilization couldn't be bothered to come up with some kind of plausible sounding explanation to not go to Earth.
Well, here we are on Earth, and OH MY GOD I'VE MADE A FANTASTIC MISTAKE IN NOT LISTENING TO OUR SCIENTISTS! WHAT POSSIBLY COULD BE THE AMAZING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE PEOPLE AND EARTHMEN?
Well, he was really tiny. All the space people are really tiny. You'd think this would be easy to explain back on Centarius III, but if they'd done so, this story wouldn't have a BOFFO SHOCK ENDING, now would it? Yeah, I know this ending doesn't seem "boffo" or "shock" at all, and in fact may APPEAR to be kinda like that Twilight Zone with Agnes Moorhead and the flying saucer, but remember, things are NOT-ALWAYS-AS-THEY-APPEAR!
Unless they're stupid.
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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