Hey kids, it's time to go down to the Happy Cartoon Forest and visit all our animal friends! There's Woody and Squeaky, and Skunky, and Patsy The Circus Cat, and our favorite... Angel Pussy! Yes, this issue of ANIMAL TOONS was published before societal breakdown and the destruction of good manners and decorum, before the nightmare of depravity and moral degredation we call "today", back when you could publish comics that used the word "pussy" freely without it being some sort of sicko pervert thing. On the other hand, back when this comic was published half the world was murdering the other half, while back home black folks couldn't even get a seat on the bus, let alone vote. Yup, thems the good old days. Brought to you by that well-known comic book outfit - Bell. Not to be confused with Dell! That logo is just a freaky coincidence. So get ready for some animal-on animal action - but before we "check out" that "pussy", let's drop in on Skunky!
Skunky is offering some marital advice to a nameless bunny who can't seem to seal the deal with her jackrabbit mate. I guess if you think skunks know what smells good, your knowledge of other natural functions might need some help.
Powerful fragrances lead to interspecies romance! And it's not only Skunky who's the target of cross-genus lust as our cartoon wolf bad guy stops in from his day job posing for tattoos and car decals to leer after that surprisingly shapely bunny-gal!
I don't wanna read too much into this, but it looks to me like Wolf and Bunny have some kind of history here.
Hosed down with foul wolf odor! Don't try to pretend most of your weekends don't end like this.
Don't try to pretend, most weekends, et cetera, et cetera.
Luckily it's Skunky to the rescue! Scents to make you love, and scents to make you fightin' mad! Don't mix those.
So Mister Wolf, this is your idea of a hot date. What are you, six?
And here we learn that perfume makes you "the gay". I get the feeling this is some kind of uncomfortable parental attempt at trying to explain why Uncle Lance never married.
FINALLY, the payoff! It just ain't right if'n it don't end with Mama Rabbit saddled with dozens of young'uns and Pappy snappin' his galluses in pride at his awesome impregnatin' ability! But enough of this mythological fertility metaphor - we promised you pussy, and pussy is what you're gonna get!
As we all know, Pussy is an elemental force of nature that drives men wild. Men, represented here by Angel's dog playmate "Spatsy", only want order and rationality in their lives. Let's see how rational Spatsy remains once he's gotten a dose of Pussy!
In this montage of crudely illustrated scenes, we see how Pussy's misbehavior in the woodshed leads to parental punishment. A vengeful Pussy plots and plans while Spatsy arranges for a surrogate male to enter Pussy's, um, trap.
Yes, that criminal dog did threaten to chew Pussy. You can't make this stuff up, folks. I feel like this comic book was photocopied right off the men's room wall.
And we climax with a grumbling, frustrated Spatsy left to impotently shiver outside as he sees a satisfied Pussy enjoying her "pie", a reward for "capturing" the larger male. And how did this story make you feel? Just jot down whatever comes to mind. If you need more space, use the back of the page. Thank you. The orderly will be along in just a minute to take you back to your ward. No, I think you're coming along nicely. Don't forget to drink plenty of water when you take these.
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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