Love! Romance! Wedded bliss! Comic books! What's that you say? Comic books have nothing to do with love and romance? Well, you're in for a shock as we see how comic books can deliver good advice on how to keep your marriage happy and healthy! Step one - GET RID OF ALL THE COMIC BOOKS IN THE HOUSE. No, wait, first check out this late 50s tale of romance on the rocks! It's drawn by your favorite artist ever!
See, I told you. Oh, look at this happy couple. Their new life is just beginning - and the only condition for their happiness is that the glamour and romance of their honeymoon never end! Because that's a realistic thing to expect, right? Incoherent bliss for the next 50 years? Sure! That's why there aren't flights to Reno every hour on the hour!
So we've set up our impossible-to-achieve goal, and now here's a couple of panels of our loving couple promising us that they will always be as infatuated and lovey-dovey as they are right at this very moment. Just kind of rubbing it in there. We're all looking at our watches wondering when they'll hit that first speed bump.
And BAM there it is! Oh you stepped on my toe when you took me out dancing even though you were tired! HONEYMOON CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF STEPPED TOE!
Here, in a tasteful silhouette panel, is the first comic book example of Denied Sex. And yes, lady, it IS childish to expect that two weeks spent in a heart shaped tub in Niagara Falls should be spun out to cover entire lifetime. I'm just sayin'.
Luckily, Mrs. Olsen just dropped by to borrow some Folgers - wait, I mean Mrs. Harris the cleaning lady just dropped in to offer a little home-spun marital advice. She's great with the marriage counseling. However, won't do windows.
Sally's modern ideas of preventing her own misery by making her husband miserable are interrupted by one of those comic book telephone calls where little hearts fly through the air. Thanks Mrs. Harris, for, um, something.
Finally! Waited on hand and foot! It's about time Sally got the kind of attention she deserved from that worm of a husband! This wedded bliss will never end ever!
OH NO YOU DIDN'T! STOP SUGGESTING I CHANGE MY HAIR AND GO TO YOUR HAPPY LITTLE OFFICE, YOU HOMEWRECKER!!
And here's Mary Worth to dispense some wisdom. Which is to suggest that SHE fix herself up to look nice, rather than maybe hint that Mrs Newlywed here shouldn't go around LOOKING FOR REASONS TO FLIP OUT ALLA TIME. I'm just sayin'.
Also, maybe Sally should lay off the booze once in awhile. Jesus, lady.
Looka that! Ponytail, new dress, va-va-va-voom! It's wedded bliss forever now that Sally's learned if she wants happiness for herself she'd better please her man! Thank you 1950s!
ATLAS COMICS! FOR GUARANTEE OF BEST MAN-PLEASING UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION ROMANCE!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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