Presenting an exciting new trend in comics - FANTASTIC FEATURE FILMS!! That's right, feature length star-studded movies rendered in comic book form, with all the excitement and glamor of Hollywood!
See? See the little heads? That's the audience! It's like you're watching a movie! A movie called "The Maskless Axeman!" Try saying that three times fast.
It's a fine day. Business is good. Top hat's polished. Everything is prepared. Here's YOUR AXE!! WHAT'S HE GONNA DO WITH THAT AXE??
AW MAN HE'S CUTTIN THAT DUDE'S HEAD OFF. THE ONE DUDE IN THE TUX IS CUTTIN' THE OTHER DUDE'S HEAD OFF. TOO MANY DUDES. Note how careful they were to not show Hitler's face or refer to him as Der Fuehrer. We wouldn't want to offend the insane murdering dictator!
Meanwhile our intrepid Foreign Correspondents are despondent as they ponder the impending execution of the blonde Ohio gal who's falsely accused of being a spy. As if anyone from Ohio could ever be a spy! But- they have a plan.
British correspondent just happens to have a seemingly colorless fluid that looks just like blood when viewed through a special monocle, which he also just happens to have. He's a British correspondent of what, exactly? Fake Invisible Blood and Special Monocle Monthly?
Their Scooby-Doo type plan begins with a floating wax head re-enactment of the music video for Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"!
Suddenly Herr Friedrich finds himself trapped in a Herschell Gordon Lewis production!!
PRO TIP: Whether spying in Germany or being executed, be sure to wear your slinkiest dress.
Oh, come on, did you really think this story was going to end with the girl getting her head cut off? This ain't CREEPY here! Not that we readers are ever given any indication that this girl is even alive to begin with, as she has no dialog and in fact is never shown awake. I guess Correspondent Boyfriend has exhausted all other dating possibilities and must find his girlfriends draped across the chopping blocks of various European nations whose names we won't mention.
Special bonus page - DUDE CUTTIN' DUDE'S HEAD OFF WHILE OTHER DUDES ARE SHOOTIN' HIM! Sometimes you start to think Dr. Wertham was on the right track there.
Truly, this was a "Fantastic Feature Film". I bet Hollywood was knocking itself out making movies about Maskless Axemen for years to follow. Right? Huh? FUN FACT: Tarpe Mills was one of the first women artists to make a mark in the American comic industry, creating (among others) the adventure character MISS FURY, a popular hero who - and this is important - never cut anybody's head off while wearing a top hat.
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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