Come back in time with us to a time when teens were polite and well mannered and their penmanship was impeccable. Back in those days if you wanted to correspond with somebody across the country or around the world you had to write these things called "letters", and instead of relying on the anonymity of internet message boards or Facebook to get your stranger danger kicks, people would make "pen pals". And just like modern times, occasionally conflicts would arise between one's real life relationships, and the relationships one makes through the communications media.


I dunno. I can't blame Frank for being a little put out at his steady girl's "special" mystery GI pen pal. All this letter writing is taking up valuable malt shop time!


Especially at the point where his girlfriend is shoving him out of the house so she can finish her letter. Yeah, I wouldn't call her for a week either! Let that pen pal buy her malts!


Okay, exactly what was the headline? "LINDA'S PEN PAL TO BE DISCHARGED FROM ARMY FOR SPENDING ALL HIS SOLDIERING TIME WRITING LETTERS"?


And here we start to get the impression Frank is kind of a dick who can't leave well enough alone.


"I don't get it Linda! Even though things are great I can't stop bringing up this pen pal stuff! It's the one part of your life not under my complete control, and it bugs me!" Frank just doesn't know when to shut up.


I just want to point out here that it really seems as if four or five different artists worked on this strip, each one with his own ideas about how much hair Linda has and how far apart Frank's eyes are and which direction each of Linda's eyes are pointing in any given panel. Also where the hell does Frank get this "I should have known better than to trust a woman!" stuff? Seriously dude, you're in HIGH SCHOOL. You have YEARS of bad relationship decisions ahead of you.


"Oh yes, he's young... magnificent! The kind of man every woman dreams of! Why would this upset you or make you feel less of a man in any way? Oh you men!" Well, we're just about at the end of this intriguing story of postally-frustrated love. Do you think we'll get an amazing reveal of who exactly this pen pal is? I bet it's John Agar. No, Sonny Tufts. Definitely Sonny Tufts.


I LOSE THAT BET! It's Elvis Presley, fresh from the Army and ready to spend the next decade making a succession of incredibly bad movies! Also he's going to marry Priscilla as soon as she's legal and take lots of prescription drugs and record "In The Ghetto!" Isn't that a shock surprise ending? I mean, Elvis being the pen pal, not Elvis taking lots of pills.
Just to give a little context here, a little disturbing imagery to leave you with, here's the cover of the comic this story appeared in.


Oh yeah. That's completely normal and understandable and not creepy in any way. Thanks, comic books!

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