Like most people, you probably thought that you'd never see a comic book inspired by animal feed. Well, you're wrong.
How wrong? DEAD WRONG.
Get ready.. are you ready?.. for the coming of KASCO KOMICS!! The world's finest agricultural livestock nutrition-based comic book, and the ONLY agricultural livestock nutrition-based comic featuring work by Bill "Katy Keene" Woggon! Those OTHER agricultural livestock nutrition-based comics are but pitiful excuses for agricultural livestock nutrition-based comics.
JEEPERS WEEPERS it's the adventures of Uncle Fred and Suzie Q. and her brother Bobby Q. as they go to KASCO Castle, where King KASCO's korporate agribusinessmen man the cardboard ramparts and maintain the feed-bag bulwarks! Truly a more formidable bastion built of pasteboard and burlap has yet to be constructed. But let's not get too far ahead of ourselves - this dream sequence is pages away. Pages filled with KASCO!
Little Suzie and Bobby arrive from the Big City ready for a holiday of fun, frivolity, and child labor down on Uncle Fred's farm. Do they mind sharing the pickup with a load of KASCO? No sir. KASCO is the tops for contented, photo-referenced cows - it beats all milk grains! And if I knew what "milk grains" were, I'd probably be impressed.
Wow look at those happy pigs! Are they eating slops and garbage like the swine they are? NO SIR they're chowing down on KASCO, of course! KASCO - the best feed for cows, pigs, Old Dobbin, and hey, they even gave Uncle Fred some swell pajamas. Is there anything KASCO can't or won't do?
KASCO DRESPRINT SAX? No, not the name of a character from a Philip K. Dick novel, but feed sacks that are specially made to be transformed into children's clothes. I don't know whether this should be considered down-home American ingenuity and thrift, or a harbinger of deranged rural desperation. If you have kids show them this panel the next time they complain about not being able to "text" or not having a "Wii" like their peers - ask them how they'd like to go to school in KASCO DRESPRINT SAX.
Lambs, turkey, poultry... no living creature could fail to benefit from the bounty of KASCO. Martha's got a nice dinner ready. Does KASCO make "Human Chow"? If they did, this family would eat NOTHING BUT.
Boy, I bet if those animals could talk, they'd thank you for feeding them KASCO. Then they would ask why their oldest and plumpest pals mysteriously vanish every fall around harvest time.
And here we are back at dream-sequence KASCO castle, full of that rich KASCO goodness all the animals love. What KASCO-inspired spectacle awaits us?
Here's where the drugs really kick in and Uncle Fred begins his psychedelic trip down a mind-warping tunnel of hallucinogenic freakouts and Elsie the Cow. Give this a moment's thought and the logical conclusion of this little dream sequence becomes obvious...
But no, Uncle Fred's groovy trip ends happily with full bellies and skull fractures from "Daffy Duck". Thanks KASCO for occupying our every waking moment! Let us follow KASCO into the bright future! All hail KASCO!! 4-4-3-2!!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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