See this splash page? Take a good look at it, because it has nothing to do with the story you're about to see. Well, except when it gets repeated in a few pages. Because this isn't the story of a woman who loses her boyfriend, this is the story of a woman who is COMPLETELY OUT OF HER MIND.
With insecurities this big, you'd think that either a) Neil is deployed in Vietnam or b) Neil has no idea who she is and that photo she's kissing was taken through some sort of telephoto lens with special night-vision attachment.
But no, they've actually met. And what a meeting! What man wouldn't feel attracted to a woman who acted like this in public? (She's crying because she tripped leaving a department store.) (Not because she just saw her beloved dog run into traffic.)(Because the best way to mitigate an embarrassing situation is to be even more embarrassing in reaction.)
Not only does she not want people looking at her, she doesn't want anyone (ie, women) looking at him, either. All staring at him with their eyes! Their filthy whorish eyes, undressing Neil, ravashing, tearing!! With their looking and their paying attention and their...
...doesn't it seem like that woman in the first panel has a look of pity on her face? She's not undressing Neil with her eyes, she's thinking "nice bowtie".
Like an endless cycle, a woman looks at Neil, she runs out crying, Neil mocks her in a vaguely creepy fashion, then she cries some more at home while holding Neil's picture in a death grip. Over and over and over. Most men (and women, for that matter) would resent being constantly accused of near-infidelity, but not Neil. No, Neil likes 'em crazy. It makes him feel needed.
Ah, but finally we're back to the splash page (which is also the cover of this particular issue of "Fallng in Love"), conveniently cropped and pasted into the narrative! Now things will finally start to happen. She can't have been imagining everything, right? A story about a woman who keeps thinking her faithful boyfriend is on the verge of running off with every woman they come across would just be silly, right? So this is definitely the one. That sultry-looking brunette is definitely about to steal her man! Because anything else would be ridiculously anticlimactic. Right?
Yes, this is definitely it. He's going off to find her again, because surely that brunette has been standing by herself on that rock on the beach for the last 4 hours, waiting for Mr. Bland here to sweep her off her feet. Well, assuming the tide hasn't come in, in which case she's probably all ready been swept off her feet.
Oh, however will she face the new day without her man? Only a framed photograph as a reminder of her lost... oh no, wait, there's Neil now.
Yes, every girl on her wedding day thinks about how her fiance has run off with a total stranger you saw for like two seconds while walking down a beach the previous day. Totally. It's like the middle aged man who wrote this romance comic is reading the minds of young brides everywhere.
Alternately, it's possible Neil had no idea that this is their "wedding day". "Say, honey, what's with the white streamers on the ceiling? And that big white dress you're putting on? And why are you holding that knife... OH DEAR GOD"
PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
NEXT STUPID COMICS
BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX
BACK TO MAIN INDEX