One of the great things about the independent comics revolution of the 1980s was the sudden explosion of comics of all types and genres. For instance, you had your ninja turtles, and your parody ninja turtles, and your parody superheroes, and your parody ninja superheroes. Who could ask for anything more? Well, as it turns out one of the sadly neglected creative areas was the world of sexy superhero ladies. I mean, regular Marvel and DC comics had sexy superhero ladies, but was that enough? Surely not. And thus was born the AC line of comics, which starred a wide assortment of bosomy, statuesque women ready to pillow-fight and roller-derby in the name of justice.
To demonstrate: DRAGONFLY issue #3, in which one athletic woman in a skin tight outfit battles another athletic woman in a skin tight outfit. But these aren't just male fantasies rendered in ink - these are real characters with real problems!
For instance Dragonfly's boyfriend was killed, and that means as a mature adult woman, Dragonfly deals with her emotional pain by smashing a tree and flying off crying. Please note the "giant sunglasses" look. Nothing says "sexy" like "these sunglasses fit over my regular glasses!"
Another way responsible adult women deal with grief is by crying in public so strange women in hats and trenchcoats will go off and get drunk with them. GUYS - this will NOT work for you. Trust me on this one.
Remember the 1980s, when you couldn't even stagger home from the bar without being confronted by a travelling roadshow production of "Road Warrior"?
"I don't like women who dress funny!" being said by a mohawked guy in a fringed leather vest? Pay attention kids, this is dialog that balances carefully on the line between "introspectively ironic" and "painfully stupid".
Menaced by an approaching unarmed female - what's the appropriate response, NRA? (1) In a friendly yet commanding tone, say "Whoa there, sweet-cheeks!" (2) Turn and walk calmly away, whistling a Burt Bacharach tune. (3) Shoot her with your convenient .357 Magnum revolver. CORRECT ANSWER - (3), naturally. If you are a superheroine, why not try to catch the bullet? It might work!
As it turns out Dragonfly's new drinking buddy is in fact a space alien, as cleverly denoted by her giant ears. You see, once there was this show called "Star Trek" - I think I was the only person to ever see it, you guys probably never heard of it - and the main alien was this guy named "Doctor Spock" or something, and he had pointy ears, so you see MY alien ALSO has pointy ears! It's like a reference or a homage or something! Also she's a sexy lady, but EVERYBODY in this comic is a sexy lady.
In fact she comes from a planet where EVERYBODY is a sexy lady. One day they were attacked by the Cavity Creeps, but that's another story.
Hey, we're way into this comic book and the two super ladies have not yet fought each other! Let's get that going on here. Yellow super lady is from the alien planet and is here to take the other alien lady back to the alien planet. But that's my friend you're zapping, my friend whom I just met two hours ago and allowed to get shot! Clearly this means the battle of the universe.
There we go, that's what we're here to see. Keep it up ladies.
But of course these super heroes, they all prefer talking to mindless fighting. That's why there are 500 issues of THE X-MEN where they debate philosophy. Oh, did I say debate philosophy? I meant, BEAT EACH OTHER SENSELESS.
Dragonfly puts on a tough front, but inside she's all nervous and worried, just like a woman. Isn't that right fellas? Okay let's get on with the fighting, ladies! We don't have all day!
Now this is what gets 'em in the door. Lots of punching and hair pulling going on here, complete with helpful male voyeur action. I mean, you hear a lot of talk about "the male gaze", but this comic actually includes it in the narrative! "I'm getting some great footage here!" I bet you are, camera guy.
And just when the ladies are getting a little too rough - not TOO rough, we don't want to mess their hair or makeup - our helpful Male Authority Figure steps in and settles things. Good thing a MAN was around to stop this silly girl fighting! Because that's what MEN do, stop people from fighting and promote peaceful solutions to problems. I guess that's how you know you're reading a comic book.
Ah yes, the 1980s, a time when women simply did not read comic books. And can you blame them?
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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