What if one of America's greatest presidents was brought back from beyond the grave? Would it usher in a new era of glory for the U.S. of A.? Or would it wind up being one of the deadliest espionage cases ever detailed in the pages of a second-rate suspense comic? You be the judge as... WARREN G. HARDING LIVES AGAIN!
Starring JOHN FORCE, ace American counterspy, who uses his magic powers - yes, his magic powers, all American intelligence agents have spooky mystical forces at their command - to crack this mystery!
It is indeed a terrible tragedy when senators drop dead after quoting an old deodorant ad. I wonder if this guy dropping dead will tie in somehow with the inventor of this new machine that may solve forever the problem of dropping dead?
The Stromboli Resusitator. It brings the dead back to life! Ask for it by name.
Within hours John Force is summoned to the Pentagon where his boss uses eight paragraphs of dialog to express the simple concept "Go check it out."
Well, it checks out, death has been conquered by the amazing new machine! So! When is this story going to get around to bringin' back the Old Railsplitter, Mister Four Score And Twenty, Honest Abe? Huh?
AND IN A COMPLETELY UNRELATED STORY THE LIFELESS BODY OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS TODAY STOLEN FROM TOMB, PRESUMABLY THAT OF LINCOLN'S.
John Force doesn't need things like search warrants and court orders - not when he's got the Fist Of Habeas Corpus!
Hey, Lincoln's back! And still sportin' that Inauguration Shawl look! History reports that this shawl had been presented to pioneering black Canadian and Union Army veteran Anderson Abbott by Mary Todd Lincoln herself - its presence here is but ONE of the mysteries posed by this thought-provoking story. What will the return of Abraham Lincoln to do a mid-60s America already reeling from Beatlemania and Johnson's New Frontier? Will America go crazy?
Yes! The whole country is going crazy - crazy for our new-style Lincoln who apparently is a total Communist sympathizer, and... HUH?
John Force's brain was in a turmoil, but luckily his Extra Sensory Perception Pillar was rubbing, rubbing ever so gently against his Magic Medallion. Good thing he's wearing that trench coat.
Disturbed by Abraham Lincoln's new pinko Communist allegiance - and who wouldn't be? - John Force visits his pal who is a great master of disguise and who once studied at the feet of an even greater master of disguise who mysteriously vanished in Europe years ago and who had a really annoying habit of pointing at people with two fingers as if he was some kind of faux-Hollywood phoney saying "Don't you go changin'!"
You might think that reviving a corpse and running him for President is a desperate move, but they said Nixon was dead, politically dead I mean, and if HE can get away with it, why not Lincoln?
Boy, is that ever an embarrassing feeling, being caught with the wrong Lincoln.
Speak louder, I can't hear you describe our convoluted plan for Communist domination because of that aircraft that is buzzing around our secret island for some reason or another! LOOK OUT IT'S JOHN FORCE whose magical powers apparently do not give him the ability to tell if somebody is REALLY Abraham Lincoln back from the dead, or make him immune to bullets. But he's magic, just take our word for it.
Luckily all American Security Group agents have invisible radioactive tattoos that give instant response to radio calls. Also the cancer!
And thanks to John Force and his magical powers, this dastardly plot to bring America to its knees is foiled. Get well soon, John Force! America will have need of your mighty magic powers soon enough, because action is about to be "popping like crazy." Well, SOMETHING is crazy, that's for sure.
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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