Able to leap tall curbs...bend bus transfers in his bare hands... change the course of mighty walk/don't walk signals - it's CITY BOY! Join us for today's exciting adventure -
CITY BOY IN THE WOODS! Thrilling action brought to you by the Ontario Department Of Lands And Forests. This comic doesn't have a copyright date, but The Honorable Welland Gemmell, under whose administration this comic was produced, died in 1954, so we can safely assume that the woods City Boy's visiting have been... probably completely untouched since then. Ontario's a big place. It isn't like one of those wimpy little American states, you know.
Tom Carmichael takes an exciting train ride to a magical place where the squirrels run, the beavers dam and the Jays suck! Actually they did OK this year. Bautista's hitting some good solid homers and... uh, where was I?
Here we see the insidious hand of the Federal Government and their restrictive rules and regulations. "Travel permits" - what kind of Orwellian New World Order globalist nightmare have we stumbled onto? When I vanish into twenty thousand square miles of trackless forest and am savagely mauled by one of Ontario's many bears, I want to bleed out and die without anybody knowing my whereabouts!
Luckily that caption explained what was happening, because without that caption this panel is super creepy.
Pouring cold water on hot stones will make them explode? That's exactly the kind of thing 11 year old boys need to know, Uncle Bob. What do you think they're gonna do the minute your back's turned? Huh? CRACK BLAM AHH MY EYE
Mmm-mmm, trout fried in butter and pines. Tasty.
Trouble comes to the forest in the form of prissy, fussy, bespectacled little fussy city man! Cityman! Able to set fires with his bare hands and a match!
Luckily, forest watchtowers spot the smoke and send a fire crew. Yeah, there are giant watch towers all through the forest staffed night and day with people whose only job is to watch. To watch YOU. Paranoid yet?
"Alright boys let's get going while it's still a small one. With luck we can build this into a REAL fire!"
"Uncle Bob, what the hell is a 'Pulaski tool'?" "Beats me Tom, just keep working! I think that guy's got a gun!"
I don't blame Prissy City Man. If I was stupid enough to start a forest fire, the LAST place I'd want to be is among a bunch of sweaty pissed off backwoods north country roughnecks. They've got Pulaski tools!
Sadly, Uncle Bob, Billy and Tom didn't see the attacking moose until it was too late. Even their travel permits were of no help.
Send your answers to ONTARIO DEPT. OF LANDS AND FORESTS, c/o THE BEER STORE, 35 Simcoe Street, Sudbury Ontario.
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