Okay, we just had two weeks of anti-Christian pagan wicca faerie propaganda. Isn't it time we taught the other side of the controversy? And who better to teach us than master cartoonist and sometimes theologian Al Hartley, with a series of Christian comics aimed at a very young audience?
Yes, it's Christian youth Barney Bear, not to be confused with venerable MGM cartoon character Barney Bear (Jewish), and his magical adventure in a toyland populated by I Can't Believe it's Not Raggedy Ann & Andy.
One night Barney is kidnaped by a jester, a duck, and a crossdressing Jackie Gleason on a wild ride in a bathtub equipped Zepplin. Remember parents, LSD will not help your children sleep.
Either they just elected a new Love Pope or there is some kind of wild toy orgy going on down there in Toyland. What kinda comic is this anyway, Al?
Here in our Toy Indoctrination Center the toys are taught love day and night. Love love love. Also to play "nicely." What could go wrong in this wonderful love filled environment?
There's trouble right here in River City, Barney! Stare at the reader for a while in horror, and then we'll move on!
Doing their own thing? Not SHARING HIS LOVE? And the drum just wants to make noise? What treachery is this???
The toy soldiers refuse to go to toy Vietnam and napalm toy children! THIS IS TOY MUTINY!!
Exactly the message I want going out to children - you are useless without an authority telling you what to do at all times. It's the American way! Thanks Al! Now I wonder, who could be behind these obstreperous and intransigent playthings? Could it be... SATAN?
With his keen forest-trained danger sense, Barney ferrets out a possible source of trouble; the ugly guy named "Beebub". Good disguise there Satan.
In a special double-truck spread we learn Beebub's evil plan to confuse the toys by taking away their instruction books! Good thing we never read the instructions, or ask for directions, am I right fellas? Luckily we have some patented Kiddie Theology (tm) to get us back on the right track! Lay it on us Al!
Wow. Look out St. Aquinas!!
"Not Raggedy Ann & Andy" here are a little confused at being asked to 'share love.' Some kind of Waco-style communal-spouse death cult thing going on here?
Yes, Satan doesn't want you to read the Bible. That's why it's the most widely-printed book of all time, because the powerful Lord Of Evil doesn't want you to read it. So tough to find a Bible!
Let's fill the world with 'special love' by doing our duty, getting real high and telling everybody what time it is. Now finally I have theological justification for smoking lots of weed and hollering "IT'S HAMMERTIME" on street corners!
And Beebub, his evil bible-denying plans foiled by an overall-wearing bear, quits in a huff without even giving two weeks notice. He always quits when no-one listens to him! This is mentioned in Pauls' third letter to the Corinthians where he writes about walking around Rome with his fingers in his ears going "La la la I can't hear you."
IT WAS THE GREATEST MASSAGE PARLOR DREAM EVER! YAY!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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