You know you're in for a treat when a story titled "No Man is my Master" is written, edited and drawn entirely by men. Of course, it was "narrated" to Stan Lee-- probably by Steve Ditko.


Nick's such a he-man he not only orders dinner for his date, he orders it for the cigarette girl and the lady who seated them. And god help any of them if they have roast duck allergies. Fortunately Nick's such a he-man that he can make you like a certain dish just by telling you to.


Yes, chicks are soft and cuddly and cute and go "peep peep peep" as they scratch in the dirt alongside their mommies. Marvel Comics always was willing to take on the tough issues-- even back in the 70s, they weren't afraid to write about pedophilic chicken enthusiasts. But what's the blonde's deal? I guess she likes to watch.


Uh oh! She's getting a taste of that women's lib! The ever-impressionable Bev, who just 12 hours earlier had been convinced to like food she never liked before, is now so convinced by the feminist movement she's all ready referring to 35-year-old, simian-featured Nick as a "boy".


And so, Bev is subjected to the terrifying ordeal of having to decide what to eat by herself. What a nightmare! Couldn't the waiter tell her what to order? What about the curtains hanging behind the waiter? Surely they have an opinion!


No, no Bev, that's not how you're supposed to do it. When a gentleman presents you with several options for a night out, you're supposed to pick one that you'd like to do, and then he decides to do something completely different, which is what he was going to do all along because asking your opinion was just a formality.
At least, that's how it's worked with every guy I've ever been out with. Maybe I shouldn't be making fun of Bev after all.


Anyway, it's all moot since Bev listens to another speech and attempts to wrap her brain around a new definition of the women's movement.


Uh, well, that's sort of... I think you're kind of missing... I mean it's not just... it... they... she...
Sigh. Actually, you know what? That's good enough. Well done Bev. I'm going to go have a drink now.


Wait, so she interpreted "equal" to mean that she's the domineering one rather than the man? That doesn't even... oh, that's right. This was written by dudes.


That's right, he Tarzan, she Jane! The way it ought to be! Take that, Bomba the Jungle Boy fans!!

Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!

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