Ever wonder why WWII was called "The Good War"? Mostly because most people calling it that were doing so 30 years after the fact. But another reason is that apparently it was fought entirely by sweet-natured children and dogs!
At least, according to this coloring book, which paints a picture of America's fighting men and women as, well, an army of 12-year olds with long eyelashes. If you're a kid in the 1940s worried about your potential future in the armed services, relax! You'll find the army is a helluva lot cuter than you were expecting.
Having trouble filling those quotas? Just take that draft age down four or five years. The boys will think it's cool and the girls will certainly take notice of you in your sharp new uniform!
Yes, it's the hard-hitting "Fighting Kewpies" of the 109th. Look out, Hitler!
Training to be a commando OR planning for that peacetime career in the sanitation industry? Johnny's thinking ahead.
Yes, a good officer should inspect his boys carefully. Especially when they actually ARE "boys".
But America's armed might isn't merely foot soldiers - modern war demands action in the air, as well!
Ready to take off and blast the Axis, Jim prepares by limbering up his lips in preparation for making lots of "pew pew pew" and "kaboom" noises.
Oh well, bad luck Jim. You'll get 'em next time! Keep paddling, it's only four or five hundred miles to Britain.
All of them, Bob. All of them. Kudos to SOLDIERS for not shying away from the realities of military life!
We aren't just drafting pre-teens, we're putting them to work in our war factories too! Child labor laws are a thing of the past when America swings into action!
But it's not all work for America's fighting men and women. Uh, boys and girls, I mean.
Here the Junior USO gives lonely soldier boys a chance to step on the feet of a whole new set of partners. Luckily these kids only weigh sixty or seventy pounds, so no harm done.
"Let's see, what tipped me off... was it your incoherent drawl, or the sorghum syrup your entire meal was drenched in?"
We had to postpone D-Day for an entire YEAR because we couldn't pry these kids out of the malt shop. That's the last time I fight a war with pre-teens!
Even when your 12 year old girlfriend can't be with you, your faithful pup will be by your side as you read her letters.
Sometimes grown adult soldiers talk about seeing "ping-pong ball acts" involving ladies, but I don't think this is quite what they had in mind. YEAH, I WENT THERE.
And when there aren't any girls around, the boys will just put on some mascara and sing, sing, sing. I think this number is called "We'll Scratch Hitler's Eyes Out."
Join America's Fighting Tweens as they battle the Axis as part of the popular "Take Your Dog To War" program! What are you waiting for - puberty?
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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