It's 1949; one war's over and another, colder one is looming on the horizon, and America is in danger of losing its way. Who will remind Americans that they have a duty to fight for freedom? Comic books, that's who.
This "picture story of man's endless struggle for liberty" is illustrated by Silver Age great Dan Barry. However, in spite of the cover copy, it is not actually "endless". Let's look inside at a typical American town and ask ourselves "what's wrong with this picture?"
Well, for one thing, it looks like our town has been completely taken over by hired actors paid to spout nonsensical "straw man" type statements, merely to give our comic book some easy debate targets! And you thought OWS was bad.
But it turns out the struggle for freedom has been going on for a long, long time.
Why, way back in Old Testament times, in the land of Ur, Abraham was telling his tribesmen that they shouldn't sacrifice to gods, but to think for themselves! Okay, I don't want to get into a big Biblical thing here, but this is kind of THE TOTAL EXACT OPPOSITE of what Abraham ACTUALLY DID DO, which wound up being THE FOUNDATION OF THREE MAJOR WORLD RELIGIONS. I'm just saying.
Panels like this one cry out for a sarcastic comment about how modern archeological findings suggest the Egyptian pyramids were not built by slaves, but by a class of skilled artisans and craftsmen. But there ain't no Egyptians in THIS panel, so I guess these aren't the pyramids you're thinking of.
Don't be so negative about those commandments! They give you the freedom to NOT covet or steal or kill! And just wait til you get to the whole slew of rules about not mixing meat or milk, or eating shellfish, or mixing fabrics - it's an EXPLOSION of freedom!!
On and on civilization flourished until God-fearing Europeans crossed the ocean and discovered a whole new continent where free men could build a land of liberty. With the help of some slaves, and after they killed all the previous inhabitants. But we won't go into that, because, you know, freedom and stuff!
Damn those effete British and their insidious 'government planners.' I never saw a government that needed "planning!" Just DO IT, that's the American way of freedom!
And soon the firey flame of freedom burst forth from the muzzles of musket and cannon across the 13 colonies as Americans rose up against the lobsterbacked back of British oppression. I know - because I WAS THERE. See? there I am!
And in 1776 in Philadelphia, Thomas Jefferson invokes the Deity while Thomas Paine furiously pens one of his famous atheist screeds, probably "The Age Of Reason". FREEDOM!
After a bloody war America was free to enterprisingly surge forth in a burst of freedom! Not shown: the Whiskey Rebellion.
Push far enough west and you find yourself in a George Remingon painting, bringing the harsh light of FREEDOM to various indigenous peoples, who simply do not understand our God-given right to take what we want, when we want it. I mean, uh, liberty.
And before you know it, here we are in 1876 driving that golden spike into the Transcontinental Railroad. It's almost as if this comic book, which is supposedly all about freedom, is deliberately neglecting to mention the horrifying, destructive Civil War that was fought because one group of states wanted to be FREE! to, uh, own human beings. Maybe that's a kind of freedom this comic book just doesn't want to get into. Instead, let's think about Edison and, uh, how he actually didn't invent the light bulb.
And as a liberty-besotted America practically wallowed in freedom, their standards of living going higher, ever higher (not shown: Panic Of 1857, Panic Of 1873, Long Depression, Panics of 1893, 1896, 1907 and 1910, Great Depression), across the ocean the evil "Government Planners" were planning all kinds of highly regimented monkey business!!
Not EVEN going to point out that the Nazis were elected to the Reichstag by a free majority vote, and that the Bolsheviks took power in Russia due to the brutal misgovernment of the Romanov dynasty. Oh wait I just did that. Still - note the government planning going on there! That's how you know it's bad, all the planning.
Pretty scary stuff! But how can we, as Americans, save our liberty-loving free nation from this kind of planned governmental planning?
Why, we can realize that every vote counts, and that the stuff the government does is paid for by taxes, that real liberals stand for individual freedom, and that whenever the government tries to propose any sort of legislation that affects business, you will DEFINITELY lose your job!
So remember Americans, take a tip from the National Association Of Manufacturers, who have no dog in this fight and are just passing along some useful advice. Businesses would never pollute, or advertise falsely, or sell shoddy, dangerous products, or discriminate in their hiring practices, and don't let any 'government planner' tell you otherwise!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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