Sometimes the world of Stupid Comics is a fairly predictable place - your tedious Charlton romance comics, your nutty silver age DCs, your wacky Harvey comics - but once in awhile the great maw of comic-book badness coughs up something that simply defies explanation.
The Italians call it "fumetti" - making comics using posed photos -but I'm sure the Italians would have more colorful terms for THIS particular fumetti, as it is a spandex-and-distressed-hair extravaganza starring the Nova Girls (tm), a band of outer-space ladies, as they battle some other stiffly-posed women amidst a heavily airbrused backdrop. This is actually the second appearance of the Nova Girls (tm), but don't worry, there isn't a lot of complicated backstory.
In an amazing fourth-wall demolishing turn the Nova Girls(tm) explain that their last adventure, "Space 34-24-34", was merely terrible exploitative junk produced by a sleazeball. As opposed to the comic book they're in now, which is terrible exploitative... you get the picture. Actually we get SIX pictures of stiffly-posed women pretending to smash through something. Not quite sure how this is an improvement on actual cartooning.
As we can see our Nova Girls(tm) all have funny accents and/or personalities, but their ugly, actually-cartooned boss simply doesn't care about them or their problems.
Casually dismissed by their employer, the Nova Girls(tm) are unceremoniously dropped through a series of tubes and pipes that bring to mind Terry Gilliam's cut-paper animation from the TV series Monty Python, except the Victorian-era photos he favored were a bit less stiffly posed.
But as all team comic heroes must do, our ladies regroup and work up a revenge plan involves splitting up to accomplish different tasks.
One team puts on tight spandex outfits and poses stiffly in front of a drawing of a giant space slug.
Another team puts on commando gear and face paint and sneaks around drawings of bank vaults.
And a third action team is wearing what appears to be a circus clown's approximation of corporate women's fashion. Seriously, what is going on here?
But of course what winds up happening is that our Nova Girls(tm) must face other bad-hair women in some kind of fighting arena. I've been trying really hard not to use the word 'skank' here, but it's getting tougher and tougher.
YOUR PLEASANT THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Somewhere, somehow, somebody is REALLY getting off on this.
Meanwhile our two commando Nova Girls (tm) are being menaced by girls in bathing suits with Lazer Tag guns, which is an amazingly accurate look into the innermost desires of most 14 year old boys.
Luckily, badly posed photography and shiny airbrush effects mean fun for all!
And as the chaos spreads, the laws of physics and perspective go out the window as cartoon characters and posed photos alike battle to the death in an amazing sequence that brings to mind a particularly wacky high school yearbook.
In a shocking turn of events Bill Clinton has his lights punched out! Take that, Bill!
Justice upheld, our Nova Girls(tm) blast forth into the universe in search of more exciting backgrounds to pose in front of! What does the future hold for these ladies? Apparently their third photo-novel comic - a rollicking romp co-starring "Grampa Al" from THE MUNSTERS - actually did get published. And one of the Nova Girls(tm) did go on to a successful acting career which included episodes of LAW & ORDER. But which one? Confused by all the females? Use this handy checklist to pick your favorite!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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