his one's been covered by other investigative comics sites, but we recently found our own copy and by golly, it almost demands that we give it our respect.
In fact military discipline DEMANDS we come to attention and salute this fine piece of armed forces instruction! What's that? You don't know when or how to properly salute your superior officers? Well, keep reading.
There's more to being a soldier than inspections and marching and manuevers - there's fields-stripping your M60 while under hostile fire, there's knowing how to calculate yardage and fall of shot by sight, and there's using det cord to take down telephone poles and trees. Oh, and military courtesy, too. Sure.
Just like tipping your hat to ladies or wearing enormous green suits, Military Courtesy is a part of everyday life!
Ah, here we see something that will bring back fond memories for every former serviceman - the friendly barracks bull sessions about saluting. Gather 'round, fellas, he's talking about military courtesy! So where did the salute come from, anyway?
Primitive peoples would display empty hands to show they meant no harm, illustrated here with a scene from the adult film "Jungle Buck Meets Diaper Dan." Seriously, comic, WHAT THE HELL.
And so instead of just saying, "Hey, I see you there Captain Spaulding! That's you all right!", we imitate customs of long-dead cultures and peoples.
WOMEN? I gotta salute WOMEN? What is this Army coming to?!
Remember, don't engage salute function until approaching Respect Zone (4.3 meters) from Courtesy Object (officer). Failure to do so will result in severe penalties!
And hold that salute until the officer drops HIS salute! Even if it takes all day! Some officers can hold that salute for six to eight weeks. You can keep smoking, though.
You know, it's more fun in the Army when you know the right things to do! That's important to me, having fun in the Army. It's why I joined! You can't get malts like this in civilian life, that's for sure!
Remember to salute officers of friendly nations. The salute for officers of UNfriendly nations is slightly different and involves fewer fingers.
And so the two soldiers drifted off to sleep, their dreams filled with dressing sharp and saluting everything in sight. Over and over again.
Remember to count your money, because the Army will take every opportunity to cheat you out of your pay. Just stand right there in front of the paymaster and count it. We're in no hurry! Take your time.
We do NOT salute flags carried by little boys in suspenders. Or flags billowing from the back of Harleys ridden by vicious biker gangs, or flags painted on the hoods of muscle cars or on the sides of custom vans. Or flags at auto dealerships, even though they may be the largest flags in the world. No saluting those flags!
That's right, greet your lady friends with a salute! They'll think it's charming! Or weird. Probably weird.
So ladies, are you interested in saluting? Because that's what we're going to talk about all day! Saluting! Interesting, huh?
I wasn't kidding! This entire meal is going to be dominated by our conversation about military courtesy! And if you don't like it, that's just too bad. We haven't been trained in REGULAR courtesy.
And now, here's a new quiz game! About saluting!
My answer to everything is C - "Try To Hide." or maybe D, "Stay Out Of The Army." That one works pretty well.
DO YOU MAKE THESE MISTAKES IN SALUTING?
I did salute a non-com once, but only to hear them say "Don't salute me, I work for a living!" I love that one. Now get out there soldier and start saluting! On the double!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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