Created by pioneering lady cartoonist Ruth Atkinson in 1945, Millie The Model starred in comic books for over 25 years, moving from comedy to soap opera and back to comedy, illustrated by guys like Dan DeCarlo and Stan Goldberg. But what would happen if one day Millie The Model... wasn't a model?
Has she made the mistake of her life in moving to Hollywood and becoming a movie star? Can she handle the most glamorous adventure of all?
Will a giant fifty-foot Millie tower over Hollywood? We can only hope!
Just another day at the "Mad Men" cosplay meetup... no, seriously, the models at the Hanover Agency begin their day as they always do, with vicious personal attacks and insults. Just one of the perks of being a professional model!
Nothing but fashions, fashions, fashions in this horrifyingly glamorous career of mine! What was I thinking, spending all those years getting my Master's degree in modelling?
Her mind is made up, she's done with modelling FOREVER. Now she can concentrate on her REAL love... the career that's shaped her personality and defines her very existence, which is... um... give her a minute, it'll come to her.
And just in case you didn't know how important an event this is, newspapers from coast to coast devote banner headlines and front-page features to the shocking news of a model leaving her job. Kennedy assassination, Vietnam, man in space, civil rights, so what? MILLIE QUITS!!
Millie doesn't even have time to file for unemployment - instantly Hollywood's on the phone. Hey, this is only a 32 page comic, nobody's spending 12 cents to see Millie standing in line at the Labor Department.
Wow, I am sure glad I gave up that stupid modeling job standing under all those hot lights for hours at a time! Here I come, motion picture industry! I'm sure it won't involve standing in front of hot lights for hours whatsoever!!
Okay Millie, you QUIT MODELLING, you are NO LONGER MILLIE THE MODEL, you're now, I dunno, Millie The Ingenue, or Millie The Contract Player. Or whatever. Find something new to introduce yourself as. And while you're at it, get the letterer to design you a new logo for your comic book, and file for a new Second Class Mailing permit with the post office.
No more standing under hot lights in New York, now I get to... stand under hot lights in Hollywood. Great.
This right here is the part where J.J. Pickwick begins to regret hiring a model with no acting experience whatsoever to star in his movie.
And after a hard day of trying to get one line of dialog in the can, it's off to have pictures taken! Aren't you glad you quit being a model?
I'm glad Millie recognizes so many of these movie stars, because the only one I can indentify is Cary Grant, apparently in the middle of one of his mid 1960s LSD binges.
And as Millie's exhausting day of movie magic comes to an end, she's forced to disguise herself and sneak out the back to avoid the legions of autograph hounds lying in wait to ambush Miss One-Line Nobody Movie Actress. I am so sure.
Hey there mister hat man! Don't you be dissing modelling! I was a model and I could buy my own clothes and everything! Not like now!
But even though the life of a movie star is tedious and demanding, the thrill of seeing your performance on the screen makes it all worthwhile. Right?
Yup, the film editor might decide to cut you out of the movie entirely! I have no say in that whatsoever, I'm just, you know, the director and all.
In a shocking turn of events Millie realizes that being an actress is just as tough as being a model, and that she misses her boyfriend. And that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and that those grapes were probably sour anyways and that a watched pot never boils. Etc. Can we jam another cliche into this story's climax? Let's find out.
Yes, yes we can. It was all a dream! Millie never quit, didn't go to Hollywood, and did not endure a tedious, disillusioning job - I mean, a DIFFERENT tedious, disillusioning job. She's back where she belongs and will never dream of anything other than modelling and being in Clicker's arms, ever again. See what comes of trying to better yourself, gals? Be sure to write in and tell Millie what you thought of this story!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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