We all love it when celebrities visit our favorite comic books. We ESPECIALLY love it when said celebrity... well, kind of isn't.
OH MY GOD GLEN SCARPELLI! I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR GLEN SCARPELLI TO TEAM UP WITH THE ARCHIES! By the way, who's Glen Scarpelli?
I guess you'll just have to read the comic and find out, won't you?
"Sorry man, I just got so into this Glen Scarpelli track that I spaced out totally and was transported into a blissful world of wonder and enchantment by the very sound of his voice! Did you know in addition to his role as "Alex" on ONE DAY AT A TIME he's also performed on Broadway and in movies? Because you totally should! He's a big name! And that's why I had to remind you of who he is!"
Our two Glen Scarpelli-aware protagonists prepare to lay a bamboozling scam down on the good citizens of Riverdale. Meanwhile, Jughead attempts to stick a leaf up a turtle's butt.
I am loving the dialog that constantly feels the need to remind us what a big star Glen Scarpelli is. "Surely we couldn't afford to pay a star like GLEN SCARPELLI to appear at our benefit concert!"
Archie's street team of guerilla marketing experts are getting the word out about Glen Scarpelli! It gets easier after the third or fourth time you explain who he is.
Wow, Brooke Shields - AND two of the Bay City Rollers! Can Riverdale handle this much star power?!
Remember parents, never leave your teenagers at home when you go on vacation. Otherwise your house might serve as ground zero for Glen Scarpelli-based fundraising shenanigans!
I see this iteration of THE ARCHIES is a three-piece. I guess after that vicious Lester Bangs review in CREEM of their last tour, they decided to get back to the basics.
Oh my god, Glen Scarpelli isn't here yet, and the promoters have vanished with all the money! And there's horrifying screams of terror coming from backstage! So let's see; no celebrities, no money, screams of terror; yup, that's a typical Archies gig.
How can I tell all those people that Glen Scarpelli ISN'T COMING? They might riot like easily-manipulated Islamic fundamentalist masses! Annnd that's your current events reference for today. Thank you.
Wow, Glen - a helicopter entrance? I think you just spent your ONE DAY AT A TIME residuals for the next decade.
I'll explain later Archie! Now let's ROCK!! Or at least get as close to ROCK as we can get with a band made up of cartoon characters and Glen Scarpelli!!
BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE TWO GUYS AND ALL THE MONEY!! EXPLAIN GLEN
They were totally ready to scam everybody and ditch town, and then they saw some animals, and the animals made them sad, so they turned back around and put the money in the bank. And then they were never seen again. REALLY, comic? REALLY? I think Glen is fibbing a bit here. I think Glen made them dig their own graves and then shot them, execution style, and now that the forest will be preserved, the bodies will never be found.
Gee, that went a little dark there, didn't it? Okay comic, give me a nice closeup of that dreamy Glen to make us feel better.
I... I kinda wish them luck! IN THE AFTERLIFE THAT IS
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, Glen Scarpelli's father Henry Scarpelli was a comic book artist and worked for Archie Comics for decades! What are the odds that this amazing coincidence - Glen Scarpelli starring in a comic book published by the company that his father worked for - would occur? Why they must be in the MILLIONS. Yet another inexplicable comic book mystery that will never be solved. To this day Glen Scarpelli, currently CEO of a community television network in Arizona and still friends with his ONE DAY AT A TIME co-stars Mackenzie Philips and Bonnie Franklin, remembers fondly his time in the Riverdale spotlight rocking out with Archie and Reggie and Jughead.
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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