I know Charlton romance comics are kind of a fish in the barrel thing for us here at Stupid Comics, what with their quantity always being in direct inverse ratio with their quality and all, but... well... there's something odd about this here story. Even beyond what we've come to expect from Charlton. Something... odd...
Well, there's the fact that the title suggests it was the inspiration for the pilot episode of "House MD". But not all that odd. It's a setup for a story about a girl who loves a boy who plays guitar. Totally ordinary romance comic story... still... something about...the dialogue...
Is it the fact that it seems to be written like a high school kid who just discovered modern poetry, with lots of tortured metaphors involving cream and weeds and a question so unfathomable it can only be represented by a series of question marks? ??? ?????
No... I know what... it is... what's... the... deal... with... all... the... ellipses...?
Hmm... no, maybe it is the tortured metaphors after all.
No, it's the punctuation. For sure it's that weird-ass punctuation. What's the deal, did the writer dictate the script for this story through a Western Union telegram messenger?
And while he was dictating this script to the Western Union messenger, was he by any chance ingesting hallucinogenic mushrooms, causing imaginary flakes to cloud his vision?
Also, dem eyelashes.
Oh, look, there's that telegram messenger now! I didn't know Western Union made its messengers wear giraffe-skin shower caps as part of their uniform! Huh. "can't be cornered STOP no trap works STOP with me STOP".
HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH... HAH
Again with the cream! Listen toots, if your cream is balling up in your coffee, it's time to get a new fridge. Or maybe a new cow, I don't know, these magic mushrooms are starting to give me indigestion. South America something something silver rings something something ellipses...
Well, now we know who wrote this! It's Linkin Park! CRAWLIN IN MY SKIIIN DOT DOT DOT
Or maybe it was written via leftover tiles after a game of Scrabble? Is "thr" supposed to be "through", cut off in mid word before we could get to another baffling metaphor? Or is "thr" 60s teen speak for "OMG their faces have melded together!!!"
"He's... gone... crazy... talking... in... complete... sentences... with... no... pauses... terrible... thr..."
NO! Selling the harmonica?? That's real bad news all right. He should've destroyed it, like the guitar.
Now he thinks he's a Stan Lee character circa 1960 and she's consumed with existentialist angst: What IS fault, anyway? Can anyone really be held responsible? Really makes you think, man.
Sex is unlikely to cure existential angst but hey... can't hurt!
That's not the past melting, that's their faces, into each other, as this puzzling story concludes. So, simple tale of a girl liking a boy who gets cold feet, then changes his mind, or modern art project gone horribly horribly wrong? That's something only history can decide.
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