It's the spooky fall Halloween time of year again and that means more stories of zombies! Not just any zombies, but NAZI zombies! And not these Nazi zombies or THESE Nazi zombies but a completely different set of Nazi zombies! Yes sir, if there's anything Golden Age comics wanted to warn America about, it was walking dead in the service of National Socialism. So open up your copy of THRILLING COMICS #34 and we'll get zombified!
Are you ready for the horror invasion? Have you bought your regular War Stamps? Were you exposed to the rays of a giant atom smasher? Then we'll begin.
Germans hassling French women, Americans getting into fistfights, just another normal day on the streets of Paris.
DATING HINTS FOR MEN: Want to get into that French gal's apartment? Beat up some Germans! Works every time.
The American Crusader, ladies and gentlemen - ready to use persuasion to get the all the dope! Wait, that didn't come out right.
Ja, I talk! I talk like novelty Pennsylvania Dutch humorous calendar! We grow too quick old and too slow schmart, ya?
We use only THE FINEST Grade-A German dead to make our Nazi zombies! I've been in Haiti and I know!
Put on this Nazi privates uniform, Marie, so I can watch you undress - er, I mean, so we can move about unhindered! You know, YOU would move about unhindered if you weren't trussed up in all those restrictive 1940s undergarments, I'm just saying.
We haven't even finished with WWII yet and they're already re-enacting WWI? TOO SOON
It's a Nazi-punching free-for-all as the American Crusader demonstrates exactly how we'll defeat the Axis - with our bare hands. None of those sissy guns or bombs for us!
WILL NOTHING STOP THESE LIVING DEAD MEN? Oh wait I knocked his hat off. That stops 'em!
Speeding quickly to the nearest radio broadcasting station, the American Crusader smashes through just in time to hear important expository dialog! I do like the Nazi plan, the first step of which absolutely requires having lots and lots of dead German soldiers on hand. Could we use our soldiers more effectively when they're ALIVE? Naw, that's too much trouble. Probably gonna die anyway.
Here we see the American Crusader's cunning plan: KILL THEM ALL. Whoops forgot about Marie!
What's amazing about this story is that in six pages Marie shows more intelligence than Lois Lane, Lana Lang, Mary Jane Watson, and every other super hero girlfriend ever. Good for you Marie.
Join us next issue when American Crusader gets greased up and fights the Axis!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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