Get ready for another blast from the 80s (except it's actually from the mid-late 90s) brought to you by the same fine folks that gave us Mecharider!!
Anime fans all know about THE DIRTY PAIR, a 1985 SF-comedy TV series about two gals who work for the WWWA, traveling the galaxy solving problems and getting into trouble. A popular mix of spaceships, explosions, and cute girls, it spawned a feature film, a series of direct-to-video adventures, and a few blatantly obvious rip-offs. Here's one of them!
Now there's homage, and there's what you call 'derivative works' which are protected under copyright, and then there's fan art, and then there's some kind of weird twilight zone where all three of those categories butt up against plagarism and the whole thing begins to look like the wall at the dollar store full of Chinese toys where Batman is colored red and Spiderman has Superman's cape and he's packaged with fake Power Rangers and knockoff Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's where we are with this, except the amount of money involved is much, much less.
Also want to point out to the art director at "Animagic Inc" that when you sign off on the cover art, make sure it hasn't been photographically reversed. Wouldn't that be embarrassing!
Anyway, what we have here is the Dirty Pa... I mean the Danger Girls, Kei and Yu... I mean Kim and Jojo.
Apparently Jojo has time "vbeteen" dates to look forward to her post-Danger Girls career. You've never seen an adventure - or typos - like this one! So let's get started!
Like all women, Kim and Jojo are hanging out at the mall. Suddenly an East Indian guy behind them turns into a horrible monster. I mention that he's East Indian because... well you'll see.
Yuri.. I MEAN KIM, fails to stop the monster, which Kei.. I MEAN JOJO... refers to as 'turban-boy' because that's how she rolls, making fun of Sikhs. It's funny when girls can't shoot accurately, right?
Are you ready for action mode? I thought we were in action mode already, what with the monsters and shooting and everything, but apparently we were not.
So THIS is Action Mode! They're in their Space Bikinis and are ready to kick some morph butt, which is better than butting some morph kicks, I suppose.
You know what else is funny, when people or monsters accidentally come into contact with a woman's breasts. We saw it in about a hundred Japanese cartoons and it was funny then, so it's gotta be funny here, right?
Finally the Dirty Pai... I MEAN DANGER GIRLS subdue the monster by blowing its head off, which they could have easily done on page 2, but instead have dragged out for six extra pages. ACTION MODE!
And like all ladies they repair to the powder room to de-energize. And fix their faces because they're girls Hey, what's going on here, are they reminiscing about how they joined the WW... I MEAN "PROJECT Z"? No, not a flashback! Anything but that!
Dammit! Flashback sequence! Flashback sequence starring their superiors at "Project Z", who dresses and talks like Elvis! See, because it's funny. Elvis is funny. I swear! You know what isn't funny? Pages and pages of expository back story explaining every detail of the extensive world-building that the writers have devoted to their Dirty Pair ripoff comic. Boy I sure hope we don't have any of that!
DAMMIT! I told you we didn't want to see any of your stupid back story! And yet here we are, being forced to wade through the secret space alien invasion of body-jacking morphers who seek to control the world and are opposed by Project Z and their crack sexy-gal operatives. See how I dispensed with that back story in one sentence? DANGER GIRLS need three pages. Also an editor. And maybe an attorney.
But enough of that back story, I can't worry about it right now, I am thinking about how the DJ at the infirmary thinks I'm really cute, and I'm also wondering why on Earth an infirmary has a DJ. Nothing like some dance rhythms to help staunch bleeding and set up IVs, I guess. Speaking of DJs let's go to a nightclub!
Boy this place sure is crowded with Robotech characters and that guy that's been following us!
Nothing says "hey what's up" like a punch to the gut.
Meanwhile in the secret base of the space aliens, somebody is using the body morphing bonder thing, and it's somebody with Elvis hair and a big collar! What does it mean?
it means Yuri - KIM - is being turned into one of those horrible monsters! Fight it Kim! Fight it until the next exciting episode of DANGER GIRLS! Which will never appear, so tough luck, I guess. No no, I'm sure DANGER GIRLS has a bright comic book future ahead! How sure am I?
We've got lots of amazing DANGER GIRLS adventures lined up all ready to go! All we need is a professional comic book penciller who is willing to draw in the manga style. And by "draw in the manga style" I mean "copy somebody else's animation characters like crazy." Are you up for the challenge? No? Aw, come on. Please?
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