Greetings, and welcome to Women's Studies and Body Issues 101. In today's class, we're going to look at that insidious form of brainwashing known as the "romance comic". Some of you may recall I stated previously that Charlton Comics, while certainly inept, were not really any more sexist than any other romance comics of the same period. Well, I was wrong. The below story contains not only the normal Charlton incompetence (bad art, incoherent lettering) but possibly the most enraging, sexist storyline ever. Let's read!
Judging from the cover, this is either a story about a fat woman dreaming about being thin and having boyfriends, or about a thin woman bored with men who just wishes she could be alone and stuff her face for a change.
Sadly, this is obviously the former scenario. But okay, this subject doesn't have to be handled appalingly, right? Ah, but you forget, this is a Charlton comic!
One would hope that today she'd either serve him with a wrongful dismissal lawsuit, or simply punch his lights out. One wishes that her next line would be "Well guess what, asshole, giving you a boner isn't in my job description so suck it up. I'm not wild about that hair helmet you're wearing but you don't hear me bitching about that."
Alas, 'tis not to be. After behaving like a normal human for two panels, Miriam will quickly revert to "idiotic romance comic stereotype written by clueless middle-aged man #8116".
So, Capt. Hairhelmet gives her exercise equipment, and rather than pawning them, she decides to use them. Okay, whatever. What do you suppose her "last laugh" will entail? A kick in the nuts? Her two weeks' notice? Well, what do you think?
Also, is it just me or does her weight and hair-do seem to fluctuate wildly from panel to panel? You'd almost think this was drawn by someone who isn't very good.
Hmmm... yeah, that sounds likely. Uh, I mean OOH LA-LA SEXY!! Okay, she's got a hot bod now; I wonder if next her boss will try to fire her for her abysmal taste in underwear? Of course, she lost 56 pounds in the space of 5 weeks, so it's possible all those amphetamines are clouding her judgement.
Why do I get the feeling he's supposed to say more than "still mad, Miriam"? Perhaps the word balloon originally contained a musing on why anyone would want to kiss someone after being threatened with getting fired for a completely trivial reason?
Phew, this guy is like a one-two punch of assholishness! Hopefully she'll insist on a quick wedding though; after a few weeks of unemployment she'll put the pounds back on in no time, and he'll be stuck! I guess she really DOES get the last laugh!
Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!
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