What happens when the space aliens finally land? Will we be all like "Ooh, E.T. is finally here!" and give them flowers and Hot Pockets, or will we be all like "OH NO YOU DON'T" and start blasting away with all our weapons? Or will we.... read this comic book story that details a possible third way out of this insoluble situation?
Sure, your 32nd century kids will really enjoy playing with the toy we'll make out of this alien spaceship after all this is over, but right now we have an extraterrestrial incursion with jarring impact!
So this is Earth! They realize it looks barren and arid, but those aliens are not going to make hasty conclusions, because this is but one small part of the planet. They aren't going to fall into that Earth science-fiction trap of every planet having one distinguishing characteristic - ice planets, jungle planets, etc. Not these guys! Now SILENCE as the Earthling approaches!
I like how the Earth hipster gets all superior here. "It's pretty obscure, you probably haven't heard about what happened to Earth." Yes, the evil One World Government, as foretold in Revelation, got together and decided to build ugly, "Phantom Empire" style robots, in order that philosophy and art would flourish. Not quite sure how ugly, hot-water-looking heater robots would help art flourish, but whatever.
Ah yes, the hubris-filled panel of tubby cigar-smoking fat cats watching the robots do all the girder-lifting. If not for robots those guys would totally be out there, lifting those girders. Followed, of course, by the panic-filled panel warning that the robots are, in a move that surprises absolutely no one, on a rampage. "Oh dear," says Future Woman. "My watch must be slow."
And just as we saw in the fine documentary films TERMINATOR, TERMINATOR 2, TERMINATOR 3 RISE OF THE MACHINES, TERMINATOR SALVATION, and the upcoming TERMINATOR GENISYS, the robots take over and destroy all the artifacts of human civilization, forcing hapless refugees to live in caves and not shave. Surely you fine, pink, snake-skin affecting aliens will save u--- SILENCE!
You gotta hand it to these aliens, they build a spaceship that can travel the immense distances between stars AND be light enough to get manhandled by five guys into a cave. Try doing that with a Space Shuttle or a Saturn 5 booster sometime!
All it takes is one look at those tree-smashing robots and Captain Alien's saying "lemme outta here!" He wants nothing to do with a planet swarming with such ugly, poorly designed mechanical men.
On further reflection, the aliens' disturbingly phallic rocket ship makes their problem with overpopulation a little more understandable. Maybe put it back in your pants every once in a while, guys, you might not be having so many babies!
So, a doomed Earth, full of scruffy losers, dominated by technology, waiting for salvation from more advanced beings. Yup, sounds like Planet Earth all right. OR DOES IT?
Ha! Bet you didn't see THAT twist ending coming! The twist ending where all Earth engages in a massive cosplay coverup to make invading aliens think the planet is a robot-dominated wasteland! Super magnets, giant mechanical hollow robot-shells, paper-mache trees and boulders, surprisingly gullible space invaders - every part of this plan worked perfectly! Surely there's no need for weapons or war if we can fool the aliens with robot costumes.
The next day, an alien army composed entirely of robots arrived and conquered the entire Earth in fifteen minutes. The end.
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