Let's face it; romance is hard, and the chances of two people making a love connection in our cold, uncaring, busy, work-a-day world are slim to none. And yet, it happens all the time! Even in bad 70s mystery comics that are forced to bend the laws of practicality and sense to deliver a twist ending! Let's see how it happens in a story that Boris Karloff himself, or rather his estate, cashed the licensing fee checks for!
Happy weekend, everybody! It's Friday quitting time down at the old library in the sleepy New England town, and that means just one thing; meth, and lots of it.
If Loser McStrikeout here has asked Sheila out every Friday for the past 2431 Fridays, that means they've both been working in that library for 46 years! Maybe he asks her out every day; that works out to a mere 6 and a half years, and perhaps a restraining order or two. Keep asking, buddy, she's bound to fall for that "may I give thee a lift" nonsense at some point, perhaps after a high fever or car accident involving a traumatic brain injury (notice Sheila's lack of proper shoulder restraints)!
But Sheila gives him the bum's rush, because there's only one thing she's working for, and that's the weekend, cue Loverboy song.
Free again! FREE! Free to get rid of this wig and join the community of bald women everywhere who have liberated themselves from the tyranny of shampoo and salons, free from oily buildup and split ends! FREEEEE-EEEEE-EEEE
Also it turns out that Sheila is some kind of horrifying lizard person disguised as a librarian. I KNEW IT! DAVID ICKE WAS RIGHT!
And every weekend is Sheila's secret romantic getaway for some alone time with her fellow disguised lizard person! And that's the key to every good relationship - some togetherness time with your special reptile-thing.
SPECIAL AWARD FOR IMPENETRABLE CAPTIONING GOES TO: "But there are other bones to which that cry is warming..." It makes sense, I guess, but it sure takes the scenic route gettin' there.
Fun fact: hideous reptile creatures disguised as humans are really great at the flowery romance talk.
It's lizard date night as our happy couple paddles around like a couple of kids, weak with laughter at the hilarous act of splashing. Reptiles are easily amused.
And then it's time for the sweet, sweet lizard love-making, or as close to love-making as a Gold Key comic was ever going to get. Kiss me, Zygor!
It's a sad world where lizard people have to hide their love behind a mask of "straight" identity. And I think I get what subtext this comic was going for now. It's also a sad world where Mr Leroy spends every waking minute trying to put the make on Sheila while actually wanting THE EXACT OPPOSITE. Dude! You don't want it, she doesn't want it, what is your problem?
Oh THAT'S you're problem, YOU'RE A LIZARD PERSON TOO! And both lizard-lovers work side by side, not knowing that the other really loves pina coladas and walks in the rain and is not into yoga and has half a brain! Will they ever escape into the happy ending of a Rupert Holmes song? And not the one about cannibalism? Only Olar The Highest knows!
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