And here we go. My old buddy Grant made certain to call my attention to this gem in the fifty-cent box of a now-defunct cards'n'comics shop out the other side of the Macon Highway in Athens Georgia. It made me value the inadvertent comedy of terrible stupid comic books. And thus, I give you... GUARDIANS OF JUSTICE AND THE O-FORCE from 1989, published by "Shadow Comics" of Indiana.
You read that right. GUARDIANS OF JUSTICE AND THE O-FORCE. Two teams of superheroes, one of which sounds like a gang of sex therapists, jammed together in one garishly-colored, independently-produced comic book. Better than this you just don't get.
You can literally see the fear melting the flesh from this poor policeman's face as he uses his Dick Tracy wrist TV to call a gang of sex therapists!! Well, okay, let's face it, that's actually just plain bad artwork.
Well, I was planning on going hiking, but it turns out I'm doomed by madness. I guess I'd better run like a helpless fool before the insuperable might and remarkable vocabulary of the Devastator. I think he's the bad guy.
Maybe I'd better not cower yet, here comes the O-Force! I don't think the Devastator is going to take their advice about remembering to initiate foreplay.
The O-Force is four muscular guys in color-coded tights who can hit things or cover things with cement alternatively, kind of like Peter Boyle in the movie "Joe".
This is the kind of perceptive insight that made the O-Force the number one color-coded, letter-based super crime fighting force in Bay City.
He's jolly, I'll give him that.
In the next town over the Devastator's attempt to "raze" the "city" is "interrupted" by more "superheroes".
I think the Guardians Of Justice are actually high school athletic mascots; either that or somebody's Champions game got seriously out of hand.
Looks like "Blackie" really took a "wallop"! Now nothing stands in the way of the robot doing whatever it was he was supposed to do!
It's a meeting of the lame superheroes! Yeah, that's right, the O-Force rides around in a big "O". Does that impress anybody? There's a reason there are no women in this comic.
Who's behind all this? The sinister Dr. Madd, that's who! He's planning to take "controll" of the world!! I guess if your name is "Dr. Madd", you really can't go into pediatrics.
They didn't suspect the crazy scientist with the secret underground laboratory? His NAME is "DR. MADD"! What do you want, an engraved invitation?
Utilizing a powerful scientific technique gleaned from an old "Three Stooges" short, the Devastator is devastated.
Remember - when trapping superheroes in your doomed lair, POLITENESS COUNTS.
An "outstanding" end to a day full of explosions, robots, and sentence fragments! But Shadow Comics wasn't finished yet; their next super-champion was just around the bend...
Not the Hulk, but an incredible simulation! Shadow Comics - setting the comics world on fire, and who cares if they can't spell? Did they ever publish another comic? The inside cover intro says this book took four years of "reseasearch". I bet it took them four years to pay off their printing bill, too. I think we know who had the last laugh out of this entire affair.
And with the mocking laughter of The Devastator ringing in your ears, we bid adieu to the Guardians Of Justice and the O-Force. "Outstanding." "Outstanding", indeed.
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