Remember that time you committed some sort of horrible crime in Third Republic-era France and they sent you off to some South American hell-hole to serve out your sentence all sweaty and tortured by the merciless tropical sun and the brutality of your jailers? No? Maybe this comic will spark some memories.
Yessir it's a never ending prison camp party here in, oh, let's say French Guiana, which is, even to this day, still an actual department of France! And we aren't on any glamorous Devil's Island either, this is just good old rotting jungle hell mainland. But you, you've got plans to bust outta this joint, right?
Ah, so Benoit here has cleverly arranged with the corrupt Sgt. Deville for freedin in exchange for committing a few more crimes, which will undoubtedly lead to prison, which will in turn require more crimes, etc. Break that cycle guys. The plan? Sgt. Deville will give some convicts firearms and, uh, hope for the best. Good luck with that, Sgt. Deville.
What's that? The corrupt guard is planning even further treachery? This guy is giving dirty screws a bad name!
Double crosses, triple crosses, I need a score card or a helpful flow chart.
Ted has no use for fancy big city jewels. Ted need to give the village chief GOOD gift. Darn it, why so hard to pick perfect gift? Maybe Ted should just take easy way out and pick up some Amazon or iTunes gift cards.
Sure, tell the native about your plan to fake your own death by using the bodies of natives that you kill. I'm sure the native will appreciate the brilliance of your plan.
Just start your robbery by blasting everything in sight, why don't you? I'm beginning to see how these guys wound up in a prison camp.
Guys, guys, you left somebody alive back there. You're slipping! Meanwhile back in the jungle, Deville and Chaunard wait for their chance to double cross Benoit and Guibez, unaware that they themselves will be the victims of a triple, quadruple, perhaps quintangle cross! Is quintangle even a word?
You've gotta admit, Ted has a point. They can't call for help if they don't have a head. Also, it's a quick death, which is considerate.
We don't see a lot of sarcasm in these pre-Code comics, but Guibez here is delivering. "We broke out of prison, shot a bunch of people, stole a fortune in jewels, and there are two guards back there who don't have heads no more. Follow US? Why?"
You know guys, you might find the going a little easier in the jungle if you tried walking on land, instead of in the middle of rivers. I'm just saying.
No no, keep clothing! Ted may be jungle savage, but even Ted not want to see your pale convict ass. This isn't "Papillon!"
Around this time Ted starts to feel a little taken advantage of. Give me some herb soup, Ted. Show us the correct jungle trail, Ted. Kill the jaguar with the machete, Ted. Ted do this, Ted do that. When is time for Ted to be Ted?
Don't you ever get tired of taking care of us, Ted? And you don't want the jewels or anything! It's almost as if there's some sort of horrifying final revelation that this story is working its way towards, one might think. But not Ted! He'll just go and talk to the chief of his Amazonian jungle village of savages and I'm sure everything will be fine.
Wow, so this South American native, whom we saw decapitate two guards earlier, is actually named "Tete" which in French - which is the language we're speaking, remember - which in French means "head." That is certainly food for thought. I wonder why he's being so good to us and has brought us all this way, being very careful to keep our heads in good condition? I wonder.
Ted will now take gift. Please lie down and stretch necks out. Please do not act surprised, you are embarrassing Ted in front of Ted's village.
This may sting a little.
Hey Ted, you had two perfectly good heads back at the prison camp when you whacked off Deville and Chaunard's heads, why didn't you just take those heads? Why OUR heads, you head-hunting rat, you?! Not that we aren't flattered, of course.
OH NO THEY'RE GOING TO MURDER US!! This is somehow worse than what they were going to do to us before, which was also MURDER US! EEEiiii!
Two weeks later, well, you come across some headless corpses in the jungle and you remind yourself that that's what you signed on for when you joined the French Penal Colony Police Force, you knew you were going to be seeing a lot of decapitated corpses. I mean, even more so than in France, and there are a lot of those in France. Anyway that's the moral of our story, don't depend on head-hunters to help you in your jewel-robbery guard doublecross plans... because they'll help you, and then they'll help themselves - to your head!
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