It's June, the month of romantical-type weddings, so here we are with yet another romantical-type story about a romantical-type couple, whose parting is such sweet sorrow because they are so very much in lo...
...uh, never mind lol
Yes, telling someone that you don't love them is especially hard when you're just strangers, because how are you supposed to know his name or address? You could just tell random strangers you don't love them, but that's just not the same as saying it to a specific stranger.
Luckily Jimmy (last name unknown) managed to scrawl out whatever the reverse version of a "Dear John" letter is while he lay dying in the jungle, which begs the question, why did they even marry? Surely she could've just said no...
Oh, I think your parents understand pretty well, actually. Why else would they send you out to Swingers' Park, where the groovy suburban swingers put on their swingingest clothes and swing their swings in broad daylight? It's to remind you of what you're missing in life, and what was apparently the only thing you liked about Jimmy, which is to say, the Big D.
Incidentally this story looks to be drawn by none other than the great Ernie Colón, a master of comic arts responsible in recent years for graphic novel versions of (among other things) the Warren Commission Report and the 9/11 Report. He is best known and most beloved by we here at Stupid Comics as the creator of Richie Rich supporting characters such as Jackie Jokers and, of course, Mayda Munny.
I bring this up because Sheila really looks like Mayda Munny.
True, all the swingers in Swingers' Park are married, so you won't meet any bachelors there. Have you tried Bachelors' Park? Oh, getting a job is a good idea too. But a job in a lesbian clothing store? For the stylish and trendy modern lesbian on the go? I don't think so, Sheila! Sure, they throw great parties, and you can always count on them to help you move, but...
Finally, a man... ANY MAN... I mean, THE man... comes in, because in the 1970s even lesbian boutiques had to have men at the executive level.
Being that he is the first man she's spoken to in weeks, or possibly months, who isn't named "Dad", she quickly falls for his manly assurance. I don't know, what ARE you thinking, Sheila? If I had to guess I'd say it's "He sure is the only man in this store".
Yeah, I mean, ideally the best time to tell someone you're interested in that you've got a kid is right off the bat, or at least before things start getting serious but telling him immediately after you've both declared your love is OK too I guess...?
...OOOOORRRRRRRR perhaps filling him in at a later date To Be Announced could also work...? I mean how bad could it be, he seems like a really nice guy and everyone love cute little rugrats, right?
...OOOOOOORRRRR maybe not? Maybe he's actually a little unhinged in his unbridled hatred of children?
The jig is finally up, as Brad has finally caught Sheila in one of her rare moments where she's actually with her kid. It'll be awkward, but now she has no choice but to rip off that band-aid and tell him everythi...
OK, I guess you could just do that too. This definitely won't make things even weirder when he eventually does find out the truth. Or maybe her plan is to never tell him, and sneak little Jimmy into the house every night after Brad's fallen asleep, until Jimmy's old enough to ship off to boarding school.
Phew, this woman's a wreck. May as well take up drinking; it couldn't possibly make things any worse.
Think fast, Sheila! You can still lie your way out of this.
"I just figured if I kept dating you long enough Jimmy would get a job, move out, marry, and have a family of his own and you'd never be the wiser! Anyway to answer your question, no, you'd be an idiot to trust me after this."
He seemed way cooler believing she was a married woman cheating on her husband than when he thought she had a kid out of wedlock so that's a well-adjusted individual right there.
Yes, I am getting the distinct impression Brad is quite mad indeed.
But I mean how big a secret could he even have? It couldn't possibly be as big a deal as...
OK, yeah, no, that's a pretty big deal. But certainly, viewing all children everywhere as chubby-cheeked little reminders of his own impotence is very rational and not at all maladjusted.
So to wrap up let's wish these two sane and well-adjusted lovebirds the best of luck in their totally healthy relationship raising Little Jimmy together into hopefully not a psychopath! Good luck Jimmy! You'll need it!
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