This is not, as you might think, the special first issue of a comic called "Lady Cop"-- it's actually the FOURTH issue of "First Issue Special", featuring the puzzling, Angie Dickinson-as-Policewoman ripoff one-shot "Lady Cop".


The story starts off with Lady Cop, who is just plain Lady at this point, hiding under the bed while her two roommates get brutally murdered by a guy in really tacky cowboy boots. So THAT'S what happened to the girls of Apartment 3-G!


Yes, the city would be a safer place to live if we had more officers for our "cower under beds watching people get murdered" squad. You'd be perfect for that! Also, if that sentence about "killing people like they were nothing but cards!" line makes any sense to you, maybe you'd like to learn about the police force's new "non-sequitir" division.


So join the police force she does, and when she finally finishes her training at the academy, she's met with that graduation-day perennial, the grenade-wielding-fratboy. Then again, what do you expect when you hold your graduation ceremony in the middle of a jogging path?


Fortunately, our fast-acting Lady Cop disarms the nut and... hey, why is everyone else in that last panel smiling? Oh, I get it! It was all a wacky initiation stunt for Lady Cop! If she'd failed, she would've still been allowed to join the force, but the guy with the grenade and everyone else in the park would've been killed. But it was worth the risk to see that trash explode!


After arresting a masher, Lady Cop ponders the problems of being a police officer. Now I'm no expert but it seems to me that maybe she'd get a bit more respect from that uniform if it wasn't quite so... plunging. And if the skirt wasn't one of those pencil skirts. However, I will concede that the "torpedo" bra definitely commands respect.


Well, at least she's wearing good sensible shoes. Also, you'll note that while it's SUGGESTED that she's kicking him in the nads, they don't actually show the point of contact. Too bad.


Now, this line of dialogue MIGHT make sense if Lady Cop was thinking it to herself as she goes to meet her boyfriend. It'd be stilted and silly, but it'd make sense. Having one of her anonymous co-workers saying it to someone else entirely is just... I don't care what you do for a living, who would say that? "Here's where the industrial welder becomes a lady!" "Here's where the air conditioner repairman becomes a lady!" What?
By the way, I feel the need to point out that her name isn't really "Lady Cop", it's "Liza", but since everyone except her boyfriend addresses her as Lady Cop, I don't see why I should be any different. Though I do wonder what they call that other lady cop, the one who took her statement at the beginning of the story. "Woman Cop"? "XX Chromosome Cop"? "Cop What Has the High Voice And Doesn't Have to Shave Her Face"?


Oh, now Lady Cop's found this girl who's just found out she's got VD! And she's standing at the edge of a pier, looking depressed and staring into the water! What words of hope will Lady Cop give poor VD Girl to inspire her to want to live another day?


Uh, yeah, way to give VD Girl a will to live there, Lady Cop. Hope they never ask you to talk down a jumper.


Well, they're not attending Mass, so I can only assume that VD Girl's dad is an ancient Roman. Or possibly a pretentious undergrad student.


Hmm... well, lemme check my Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide to see if there's any more issues of Lady Cop...
Ummm... Nope.

Now you can buy Stupid Comics merchandise from the Mister Kitty Stupid Store, your One-Stop Stupid Shop!!

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