America's justice system has long been emblematic of the nation's struggle to balance rehabilitation and punishment. Are the courts too lenient with offenders? Or do the harsh conditions in America's prisons serve as deterrent to those tempted to a life of crime? Here's a sample of recidivism in action, the story of a character so steeped in lawlessness and vice that his very appearance shouts "lawbreaker," yet who is free to walk the streets and cause mayhem with impunity, truly an indictment of 'revolving door' justice in action.
Yes, everyone's favorite funny animal felon Muggsy is out on bail again, still sporting his bandit mask (you aren't a raccoon, Muggsy, sorry) and still engaged in any number of potentially law-breaking schemes with the help of his pal Jumpy the... Squirrel? I'm going with squirrel.
And here's where the pair find out why ships are built in shipyards, not cellars.
Not to be outsmarted by a narrow door, Muggsy uses all his criminal auto-looting skills to loot Jumpy's auto and secure that most powerful of devices, the jack!
Here we see Muggsy, clearly inspired by the world of modern art, taking a cue from Chris Burden's "Samson", the 1985 performance piece in which he... well, here. Look for yourself.
Two stout timbers, a jack, some gears, and a turnstile allowing patrons to enter the gallery? Sure, it may look safe at first. But every time that turnstile clicks, the jack forces the timbers a little further against the walls, and the gallery gets a little closer to catastrophic failure of load-bearing walls. Every art patron is complicit in the destruction! Or would be, had the gallery not dismantled the thing. Now that's what I call art! (photo courtesy Inhotim Collection, Brazil)
And now our only question is, which silent film comedy legend will save this house, and perhaps Muggsy and Jumpy?
It's Oliver Hardy himself, making a rare appearance without partner Stan Laurel, as the Angry Landlord, angry because Jumpy's late with the rent. What do you expect? He's a squirrel!
I'll tell you what they're doing to your poor house, Oliver Hardy - they're challenging the orthodoxy of the art world's status quo with an institutional critique that's simultaneously subtle and outrageous!
This is either a stirring indictment of the pitiful lack of tenants' rights, or the inevitable reaction of bourgeois "taste" against the new and the shocking.
Strangely enough, this happened to Chris Burden too! No, wait, he got nailed to the Volkswagen, that's what happened to him.
Well, Jumpy the Squirrel has an idea to get that old walrus- who is NOT a walrus, who is just Oliver Hardy - he's got a plan to get him out of that door frame. One only assumes this plan will involved a lot of chewing and gnawing at the door frame, just like the squirrels around here do when you leave the peanut butter jar open on the kitchen counter, which you shouldn't do.
HEY KIDS, remember these are cartoon comic characters and you shouldn't imitate their behavior, especially when they're hitting each other in the forehead with sledge hammers.
Has Muggsy spent a little too much time listening to the Dead Kennedy's hit single "Let's Lynch The Landlord"? Say it ain't so, Muggsy!
Nope, they're just going to rip his scalp right out of his skull, leaving his face a ripped and bloody mask of horror. Where's the Comics Code when we really need it?!
New plan: smear the landlord with grease, fill the house with water, fire up the speedboat, and it's RAMMING SPEED time! Also, did Muggsy just invent the phrase "now you're cooking with gas"? Surely not.
If the thought of a boat shoving itself into the landlord's ample posterior seemed a little penetrative to you, well, relax, a boat did NOT shove itself into the landlord's posterior.
It was a telephone pole.
And hey, finally, here's Stan Laurel, rocking his best "but Ollie..." face!
The house is destroyed, the boat wins first prize, and the rodents are drowned. Truly today, victory is ours. Let this be a lesson to America's judicial system; when the court system fails society, only devastation, horror, and performance art remain.
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