Hello, and welcome to Today's Scary Bride, the modern bridal magazine for scary brides. We have some exciting new trends in scary bridal fashion and planning so let's get started!
Man, that's just asking for trouble. Doesn't he know it's bad luck for the groom to see the maiden/crone symbolism before the wedding?
You can tell the monk conducting this wedding is very traditional; otherwise he would've said "I now pronounce you husband and--WIDOW".
I'd also like to point out at this juncture that this page is an Anna Nicole Smith joke-free zone. Just so you know what to expect.
It's particularly important on your honeymoon to make sure you remind your new husband that he is, in fact, your new husband. New husbands can be terribly forgetful. Especially if you get married wearing a pretty-girl mask. Which, I might add, probably wasn't very convincing when she had it on, being as it's made of rigid plastic and all.
Sometimes your mom will demand that you make an embarrassing relative, such as a cousin who is a skeleton, be in your wedding party. It's best to just go along with these wishes in order to insure a harmonious wedding day. Also, try not to spaz out when she catches the bouquet-- skeletons need love too, and as we've seen in previous installments, skeletons can lead normal, active lives filled with bus driving and haunted-house-on-a-car whipping. As you can see, the new husband pictured here doesn't seem to mind!
The nice thing about marrying a ghost is, they never gain weight AM I RIGHT HUH FELLAS HEY HOW ABOUT THAT BAND???? Of course the down side is when the ghost mother in law moves in with you-- you'll never get rid of her!
If you're not marrying a ghost, inviting one to your ceremony might be a bad idea, especially if you're the one responsible for him being a ghost.
Also, make sure the person conducting the ceremony is a licensed minister, and not some doofus walking around with a book of blank pages that he pretends to read marriage vows out of.
It's normal to get cold feet before your special day-- especially if your groom's side looks like this. Still, you'd think she knew what she was getting into, marrying Death and all. Though really I'd say the real deal-killer here are the pink bloomers.
The really big problem with marrying a guy whose friends and family are all pink, freakish-looking ogres, is that you marry him, you marry them! You really want them drooling all over your honeymoon bed while you and your new husband consummate?
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