Healthcare is a vital issue that affects us all and its policies and procedures inspire debate and controversy wherever they go. But there's one expert that has yet to be consulted in the great healthcare debate - Little Lotta!

Now I know it looks like this is an amazing feat of strength on Lotta's part, lifting a barbell with her feet while chinning herself. Let's see former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop do this! But the real strength champion here is that skinny little tree branch. Makes me nervous just thinking about it. Let's move on.

I think we've all had dreams where the President appoints us SUPREME BOSS of something. Usually these dreams continue with exacting highly detailed revenge upon everyone who's ever done us wrong. Will Lotta's dream be any different?

First up in Lotta's dream vengeance tour: lazy, dirty hippies.

Health Czar Lotta will not stand for disobedience - she'll make this a healthy and fun nation if she has to lock everybody up to do it!

Lotta The Girl Dictator is going to TRIM THE WASTE from GOVERNMENT WAIST! Then she's going to wield ultimate power over the news media. Next, universal conscription, nationalizing industry, invading Poland.

Any comic book where Little Lotta dynamites a cigarette factory is pretty much automatically the greatest comic book ever.

Used to be this was either spousal abuse or ritualized fetish behavior, but in Lotta's brave new world, shoving your husband at the ceiling is merely a diverting pastime while on the phone.

Well, Lotta's Health Offensive has SOME benefits, I guess! Do YOU want to be chasing girls when you're 80? Sign up for Lotta's program now!

Ha ha! All the doctors are going out of business and they can't pay back their medical school bills so the lenders default and the nation goes into economic crisis! THANKS LOTTA. Wait, it was all a dream? Rest easy, hippies and cigarette factories - you're safe. FOR NOW.