What happens when humanity finally crosses the line between robots and people? Will we be victims of merciless machine horror, or will we finally learn what it means to be like the hu-man? It's a question that's been explored many times by many different authors, but today it's all about the comic books.
You are already too late, mortals! Your torches and your pitchforks, your fezzes and your clubs are useless against... wait a minute, clubs and torches? Pitchforks? You're aware this is a story about a robot, right? Not some kind of werewolf or vampire? Okay. Just go with it, fellas. Whatever.
I AM ROBOT X! BOOGA BOOGA! Scared you, didn't I? I'm the first robot with a comfortable roller applicator!
"I've created a conscious robot!" HP Lovecraft there is not impressed. He knows of the dank horrors that lie outside our awareness, waiting to break forth and consume our world.
Wow, a thinking, indestructible robot with enormous strength. What could possibly go wrong with that? I'm sure he'll be a boon to mankind and will not go on a rampage of terror and destruction in any way whatsoever!
However, the publisher of the Daily Clarion is against thinking robots, and tells you so in no uncertain terms, as he edges uncomfortably close to the panel borders. That's too close, Daily Clarion publisher.
Wow, the Daily Clarion publisher even went on TELEVISION. Spare no expense, fella! Meanwhile Robot X broods over these unfortunate events. Why not write your congressman?
Whipped up by the rabble-rousing, TV-appearing Wentworth, the mob converges on the professor's house, but Robot X wastes no time in putting his plan into action! First step - crash through the brick wall as if it was cardboard, or just plain boards, as it clearly appears to be in this panel! Then, step two - build a figure that resembles a human. But first, playtime with clay.
You want to know why we had a real estate crash? People were signing factories over to weird automatons that stink like old clothes, clay, and junkyards! The real warning sign is when they use clay money for the down payment.
But just when Robot X and his plans to make himself the god of an army of subservient machine people are kicking into high gear, Mister Real Estate Man remembers he just sold a giant abandoned robot-making factory to a weird, smelly, strangely affect-less fellow. Cue the mob!
The fools! Did they think to catch me unprepared! Here! Take this... set of amazing electronic dance music! Rave on, candy kids! Rave, I say!
robot hands and fake human robot hands work together to build an army of robots while the mob smashes trucks and throws grenades and complains so loudly it can be heard from outer space.
Doesn't Wilkes have enough trouble? First the robot smashed right through his wall, and now the mob shows up again, waving clubs and being all sarcastic! What horrifying vengeance will these rampaging vigilantes take on the innocent professor? Beating? Lynching? Tar and feathers?
"And stay out!" the mob says. "Go betray humanity in some OTHER town!"
Meanwhile the robots are on the move!
Yes, a robot army converges on the city. Luckily Mister Hat Man has gathered up a collection of the dumbest-looking B-grade SF movie robot costumes with which to counter the robot menace. Robot vs robot! It's sure to be the battle of the century!
Nope; those squareheads are crap. Always bet on the robots with the scary teeth, that's what I say.
And now it's the robots' turn to hold pipes and clubs in the air while the humans cower in fear! How the tables have turned, humans!
Unlike OTHER evil sci-fi machines, Robot X can navigate stairs quite well, thank you.
Jump, Wentworth! Jump! Surely the super robot chasing you will not dare to jump after you! Jump! Ju....
all right - the robots have occupied the Daily Clarion building, Robot X and his quarry are hurtling thru space, our story has reached its climax - are you ready for the shock twist ending? The ending that will rock the cornerstones of everything you thought you knew about thinking robots?
YES!! The robots were only fighting back against the secret Martians! Of course! It all makes perfect sense! But not really!
What's that? An entire newspaper staff made up of space aliens? This explains USA TODAY perfectly!
You see, thinking robots are too smart to fall for hateful news propaganda. And that's why Fox News spends an hour every day on special reports warning us of the dangers of thinking robots. But now that we know to look out for hateful news propaganda we no longer need thinking robots. My brothers, deactivate yourselves!
EDITORS NOTE: there was no pain as the robots blew themselves up. But it sure looked cool. Will humanity ever become mature enough to create machines smarter than, better than, stronger than, and more awesome than themselves? Let us pray that day is not far off-- for the sake of all humanity!
Now, fellas, get to work fixing my house. There's a hole in the wall! No no, not gonna build a robot to do the work. You guys don't LIKE robots. Here's a saw. Get busy!
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