If there's one thing we really enjoy, it's rooting through piles of other people's stuff. Since that's illegal, the next best thing is rooting through piles of other people's stuff at flea markets and antique shops. Frequently we find all sorts of wacky old comics, and actually trying to purchase the comics is a wacky experience in its own right.

You hand her a stack of beat up Charltons from the 70s; next to worthless in anybody's estimation. However, the little old lady manning the antique booth has other plans. "These book for eight dollars each," she says apologetically. And what book would that be, you wonder? Why, the CRAZY GRANDMA COMIC BOOK PRICE GUIDE, of course!

Ever since those freaking baby boomers flashed on their own mortality and started turning every bit of their childhood into age-defying fetish objects, newspapers and Sunday supplements have been running inane little filler pieces all about how those old comic books rotting away in your attic are worth thousands of dollars. And maybe some of them are. But ALL of them are NOT. Beat-up Jughead comics will not put your grandchildren through college, lady.

I swear to God we're not trying to rip you off. We're not mystery shoppers from Sotheby's sucking up all the hot new collectibles. Nobody will ever collect these comics for any reason other than to make fun of them. Charlton romance comics will never be the linch-pin of anybody's investment strategy.

Oh yeah, coverless Westerns, that's a hot ticket item. We're totally going to take that to the bank and use it as collateral for a house loan. You know, if you're going to glare at everybody who attempts to do business with you, maybe retail isn't where you should be.

There's real panic in their faces. Are they charging enough for this comic book? Maybe this is the BIG ONE, and tomorrow on News At Ten they'll see a special report about the young couple who found the million-dollar Captain "Split" Marvel comic book in a stall at the flea market!! Dare they take that chance??

Every once in awhile you DO find the antique dealer with comics priced to move: this Action #293 Overstreets for about $25 but was priced at $3. The proprietor was positive we were just going to turn right around and eBay it. Everybody accuses us of buying the stuff to resell on eBay. They could easily sell the stuff themselves on eBay, but it's more fun to just sit back and imagine other people doing it.
Children, tell your parents and grandparents; most comic books are waste paper, so don't get all het up about it when somebody actually wants to buy 'em from you.