Disappointed because it's all ready November but you still want some Halloween in your life? We've got an enchanting tale of an ancient fake-Egyptian curse and a guy who turns into a cat that's guaranteed to have you longing for Christmas!

Mark Merlin was yet another attempt to work a recurring character into DC's mystery/horror comics. He's easily as beloved and well-remembered by comics fans as his Unexpected counterpart Johnny Peril. Anyway, today he turns into a cat.

Mark Merlin, Sleuth of the Supernatural, is not the giant kitty you see here (drawn without reference) though. If you're expecting this to be a story about a giant kitty going on a rampage and destroying an entire city, you're setting your hopes a little too high.

Top of page 2 and the giant cat disappears down an alley, never to be seen again. I can assure you the payoff for this at the end is totally worth it though, so read on!

Here we see Mark welcoming his "secretary" Elsa back from her vacation, with hugs and kisses, because theirs is obviously a very professional relationship. Does she even know he introduces her as his "secretary" when he's narrating his stories? I feel kind of bad for her; it's obvious he's just using her for secretarial duties and all she gets out of it is hugs and kisses at the train station (and sex of course)

In flashback we see a dude wearing an Ancient Egyptian headdress (because fake Egyptians like to dress up as Victor Buono as King Tut) presenting the gift of a giant cat head as a goodwill gesture. Wouldn't it be great if pharaoh's tombs were giant cat heads instead of pyramids? Ben Carson would probably claim they were ancient Meow Mix silos. That would be pretty fun. Anyway back to our story.

OH also apparently Mark Merlin is an expert on fake Egyptian history as well as a supernatural sleuth. It pays to diversify I guess.

Man the cops in this city sure are heavy-handed. A night in jail for exercising his right of free speech? I mean he was only warning them of the ancient curse of Memakata, sheesh. Luckily everyone in Fake Egypt knows each other by name. Fake Egypt is quite a bit smaller than Actual Egypt, I'm guessing.

The legend of Memakata apparently began because the pharaoh liked to dress up as a kitty cat, in order to make his people respect him more. Keep in mind pharaohs were notoriously inbred.

Also beware the curse etc etc crushed by a giant kitty head etc etc

Yes, I suppose Fake Cleopatra does resemble Elsa, in that they are both two-dimensional drawings of women? If you wanted to get meta about it? I like her hat though.

Anyway back to the present... all that was a flashback, remember...? Ancient parchments report Memakata really could transform into a cat, so let's just assume that's 100% unvarnished truth because Mark Merlin is a supernatural sleuth, not a sleuth sleuth. Are he and Elsa supposed to be snooping around this amazing historical exhibit with flashlights? Random alley cats can wander in and out so I guess it's OK, it's not like there's any security or anything around these ancient artifacts.

AGGGHHHH my mind's been transferred into that cat that was wandering around this exhibit of priceless relics!!! It begs the question what would've happened if Mark had looked at the kitty amulet and there was no cat around to transfer into but okay.

The cat's soul probably got stuck in Mark's body and that's why he's lying there so lifelessly. You know how kitties like to sleep.

Ambassador Fazir, now dressed as a fake Centurion instead of a fake ancient Egyptian, explains his somewhat convoluted plan to take over Fake Egypt while Mark, escaping through a fake ancient Egyptian cat flap, overhears.

The throngs of curious and very gullible people who have come to see the cursed tomb run in fear because some guys in costumes are carrying Mark Merlin, Supernatural Sleuth.

Phone call from whom??? The mayor? And this is supposed to make you king or pharoah or whatever of Fake Ancient Egypt-land? Have you really thought this through Fazir?

Wow, that Queen Cletoma really kept her husband on a short leash eh? EHHH???


It's spelling something out...! S-C-R-A-T-C-H... M-U-H... W-H-I-S-K-E-R-S... What can it mean???

Boy, that's for sure. It's hard enough training a cat to write in a modern language, much less expecting it to delve into antiquity! And those hieroglyphics are murder on their little claws.

See? Didn't I promise you the payoff for that giant cat at the beginning of the story would be worth it? It was mechanical and got hidden in a van. Yep that... sure... ties up that loose end... (btw it was Elsa dressed up as the queen in case you couldn't guess).

Look at him, pretending his readers give a shit whether he turns back into a cat. I mean, he didn't steal this priceless artifact for nothing! Of course he's going to transform again; as soon as Elsa goes home he's gonna be licking his own balls all night long.