Get ready to dust some stars with a couple of Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue models, a nearly-naked butterfly boy, and a small boy in a leather harness, in the Stupid Comic voted Most Likely To Get You Put On A Federal Watch List, "Stardusters"!
You'll note that this is issue #3, but hey, it shouldn't be too hard to pick up an independently-published black and white scifi comic all ready in progress, right?
See, they even tell you what's all ready happened in the story... a bunch of hard-to-pronounce names are crammed together in a cockpit on the run from some meaningless initials and speak in crooked word balloons, what more do you need to know?
Admiral Cyborg Andy Richter gives the order to chart a course in pursuit of our scantily-clad heroes, no doubt in a valiant attempt to get them to put on some damn clothes.
Mostly-naked little boy clings to naked Ambercrombie and Fitch model while chastising the "Alpha Prime", which I assume means "the one guy wearing clothes".
While we marvel at how much this kid changes size from panel to panel, let us also marvel at what I assume is exciting spaceship action on the rest of the page!
Now let us marvel at the amount of detail drawn on man and boy's tiny nipples, and compare it to the lack of detail in the tiny cockpit in which they are all crammed together... though not so tiny as to spare us the sight of the Mowgli cosplayer's manspreading. And while we're here, let's also give thanks that Butterfly Boy is not a mammal, and is thus nipple-less.
Is it just me or does he kind of look like one of those Margaret Keane-knockoff paintings? Like, not an actual Keane painting, something by "Lee" or "Eve" or "Bud" or "Bleh".
Reading this comic is a roller coaster of emotions... like, you can either get super-weirded-out by the way captain guy is lifting the kid, who is wearing nothing but a couple flaps of cloth OR you can be grateful to find that the captain guy is wearing pants, now that he's standing up. Me, I choose to feel both!
"When I had to get some Earth comic books for the Pari, I ate pizza" is a sentence that may well make sense in context. What that context would be, I have no idea.
"When the QIU cops took the special imperium slave cloak away" probably also makes sense in some context, a context that would most likely be better served by a flashback, but getting all your back story told through dialogue inside a cramped spaceship is good too I guess.
Not too cramped to fly around it, though... guess it has a high ceiling.
awwww look, now both Ambercrombie and Fitch models have a snuggle-buddy. This isn't creepy in the slightest.
Yep, not creepy in the least.
Not creepy in the-- GYAAAHHHHHH. He's technically wearing more clothing but somehow it's WORSE. Where exactly is it "appropriate" to wear this outfit? Actually, you know what, it's fine. I don't need to know that.
You know, I think I saw this painted on black velvet at a flea market. I don't think I'll be going back to that flea market.
And yeah, his outfit is somehow even worse from the side. At least captain guy has put on a top, though he's also changed into pants that seem designed to show off his package.
ANYWAY the comic ends with them going to a "Sargasso Sea of Space", a story device so unique it's only been used in every fucking science fiction story ever written. OTOH most other science fiction stories don't make me feel like I'll never get clean again, so there's that.
Also, to be completely honest the comic actually ends with two pages of text providing even more backstory that they couldn't cram into the dialogue in the comic proper, which as you've seen is almost entirely dialogue providing backstory. But I'm not scanning that in because this feature is called Stupid Comics, not Boring Text. So instead here's a vaguely creepy illo from the inside front cover:
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