Adolescence is difficult, right? You can't borrow the car, school is a drag, your crushes go unrequited, and you feel torn between your human friends and the wolf pack you lead. And while that last one may not apply to everybody, it sure makes life difficult for Fangs The Wolf Boy, the star of our latest Stupid Comic!

Right out of the pages of Sparkling Stars #26 leaps this fine combination of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Kipling, hanging upside down with his non-wolf-related girlfriend Lana on what must be a really lousy date. This is what happens when you don't let them borrow the car, parents!

But suddenly the caption gets all fancy and a new character strides boldly into the scene, fists flying. Is this rescue for Fangs and Lana?

And it's introductions all around. Carl, this is Lana. Lana, this is Carl. Fangs, this is Carl. Carl, this is Fangs. Yes, he has little fangs and no, this isn't a vampire comic, so just relax.

Is Fangs simply "strange" or is he jealous of the buff new hunk in Lana's life, or is there some deeper meaning to his savage actions? No, make the question mark bigger. Bigger!

Like all teens, Fangs deals with his frustrations by slapping his wolf pack around. Well, okay, not all teens. Maybe only a few. Okay, just one.

And here I'd been thinking that comics were sadly lacking in scenes of wolves debating the fitness of their rule by wolf-boy. Thanks, Fangs

Suddenly a ghost with the words "suddenly" drifted into the jungle, and... wait, that's a caption. Way to confuse us Fangs!

It's a glare-off between Fangs and Blockhead McCheeseface here! I don't trust him either, Fangs.

Fangs is so nice and the next day he acts like a savage! Well, time to take off my shirt. Comics Code? That hasn't even been invented yet!

Yes! It is I, the savage wolf boy! And yes! Disney's Jungle Book is at the drive-in tonight! Popcorn is on me, the savage wolf boy!

Whoever drew this comic spent a lot of time thinking about exactly what a woman with an unbuttoned blouse would look like slung over the back of a wolf boy, and not a lot of time on Mueller's face, which appears now to have suffered from a disfiguring industrial accident. Also turns out he's evil. A guy named "Carl Mueller" being evil in the 1940s? Yeah, I know it's stereotyping, but sometimes stereotypes are based on reality!

Finally a comic book acknowledges that women can both unbutton AND button their blouses!

Well, time for Fangs to become a cyclone of action, asking rhetorical questions as he smacks these guys in the face before they can reply "well actually when hunting I prefer the 224 Weatherby, but..."

Seems like Eddie Munster here feels torn between loyalty to his fellow humans and loyalty to the wolf pack that raised him to be a wolf boy. Which one of those groups is going to get you to a cosmetic dentist the soonest, Fangs?

And just when Fangs makes peace with the humans, the wolves attack, hollering their attack slogans! I hate it when the wolves holler like that.

Hold the attack, the Wolf Council needs to debate the ramifications of this recent turn of events. Perhaps our presuppositions of Fangs' loyalty were wrong!

Tails wagging, it's back to the wolf park for these good wolf pups. Say, which jungle has wolves in it, anyway? I'm unclear about this whole thing suddenly.

"He's so strange, yet I love him!" Look lady, he just ditched you to run with his actual wolf pack. He can't make his priorities any clearer. Move on already.

would this be the last we'd see of Fangs The Wolf Boy in this issue of Sparkling Stars? Why, no! Later in the comic, in the genre-busting Cowboys And Air Freight Service Pilots strip "Hell's Angels", we see one of our titular Hell's Angels at the mercy of international fascist troublemaker Neron. Who will save Clem West, who was knocked out in Chicago and flown all the way to an Asiatic jungle for purposes of jungle torture?

Why Fangs The Wolf Boy will save Clem! It's the hero crossover that establishes the coherent Sparking Stars Universe, coming soon to a movie theater near you!

"Everybody in America knows you, Fangs!" That is some wishful thinking there, Sparkling Stars Comics.

All over the world the five or ten people who know about this obscure Golden Age comic character wonder who Fangs is and how he knows about the outside world. It's the darndest thing! But meantime, you wanna know, we all wanna know, what, meantime, of Lank? That'll have to wait for another installment of Fangs, or of Hell's Angels, or of Stupid Comics.