Did the Devil, as noted, recently-departed right-wing conspiracy theorist and country-rock icon Charlie Daniels posited, actually go "down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal?" We may never know. What we DO know is that Satan and all his imps sometimes have nothing better to do than to bother innocent farm folk who merely want to go on about their dirt-farming lives free from supernatural influences or eerie goings-on. And if it isn't Satan or VVitches, then it's Bigfoot or UFOs or flying saucer people or drunk teens. Leave the farmers alone already!

Check out the amazing Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade floats happening down at Rainey's farm! This is freakier than Woodstock, he should start selling tickets. Meanwhile son Joel is amusing himself by playing with his cock. What? That's what he's doing! Is that too vulgar a term for you? Okay, fine, he's playing with his PETER. Are you happy now?

Awakened at midnight by a banging shutter, Joel is suddenly made very aware of the effects that the radiation leakage from the nuclear power plant down the road may be having on the local animals.

"I wasn't dreaming, I saw 'em! It was like all the wall decorations of an elementary school Halloween circa 1958 came to life and started floating around the barnyard!"

The very next night there's strange doings happening down at the barn. Maybe the Raineys should get themselves a dog, or a night watchman, or a night watchman with a dog? If you want to keep marauders away, that is. Farm marauders.

You see son, when a mutated hell-crow and a horse love each other very much...

Aw, parents never believe kids when kids try to tell 'em that the forces of darkness are swarming around their farmland. At least Joel's Peter believes something awful queer is going on!

Help! Help! The birds is coming (if we're discussing the Hitchcock film) or the birds ARE coming (if we're just talking about regular birds)!

Buzzards? Vultures? Let me be the first to state flatly that up until this moment I thought that "buzzards" and "vultures" were more or less the same thing. But they are NOT. These are WAY more "vulture" than they are "buzzard."

The farm is CURSED Ezra, that needlepoint on the wall is useless. USELESS!

He's a towheaded, freckled American farm boy, I'd be surprised and a little chagrined if he WASN'T pretty good with a slingshot, to be honest.

Hey kids, remember you too can wait up past bedtime to shoot crows with a slingshot! It's fun! And probably illegal depending on your jurisdiction. But fun!

This year the national convention was supposed to be in Charlotte, but it got moved at the last minute to Jacksonville, we take you now live to the convention floor.

I never can remember which one is Kang and which one is Kodos.

I know this feature is "Stupid Comics" and we're supposed to make fun of these things, but this story is really delivering here - it's midnight, swarms of demons infest a graveyard, we get a nice look down Satan's toothy gullet, Norman Nodel & Vince Alascia just slapping that ink down and making everything creepy and weird, so weird you almost forget to ask yourself exactly what kind of punishment a farm boy deserves, really.

But Satan's lust for discipline is thwarted by none other than the Cock-A-Doodle-Doo of Joel's rooster Peter, who is hated and feared by everything evil! I guess the devil hates to get up early. You might remember Chanticleer from your Canterbury Tales or your Aesop's Fables or the fine documentary film "Rock A Doodle," one of the few films to feature both Eddie Deezen and Charles Nelson Reilly, neither of whom played Satan.

And so Peter and Joel lived happily ever after. Peter's not looking so good here. Maybe rooster reference photos were hard to find. Anyway, Satan and all his abominations realized that most farms have roosters, so they'd be better off going just about anywhere else for their regular get-togethers. And that's the story! Don't see Satan around? Thank a rooster!

Hey kids, if this story has YOU wanting to slingshoot Satanic birds and other small woodland creatures, why not send off for this great Hi-Power Slingshot? WARNING it must NEVER be used against ANY LIVING PERSON OR ANIMAL and we sure hope this line of type in our ad serves to indemnify us against any legal action taken by anyone who is harmed by our wonderful Hi-Power Slingshot. You are HONOR-BOUND to respect the high ideals of this fly-by-night mail order scam company!

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