We can suppose the cold war didn't end in our lifetime, but it certainly did! Unless you were born after 1991, then technically it didn't end in your lifetime I guess. In any case this Where Monsters Dwell story was both created and reprinted well within the boundaries of the cold war, so maybe it really did lead to ... THIS! "THIS" being some scientists raising their arms in graditude as a giant red robot struggles to use the toilet for the very first time.

It's the year 1990 and people still have very strong opinions about the landmark supreme court case regarding a woman's right to choose. Roe can do no wrong, but that Wade... yech!

Yes, our compu-tors are good at adding numbers, and the bigger they are the better they are at adding numbers! This electronic brain that fills an entire airline hangar not only adds, it subtracts, multiplies, divides, calculates percentages AND it can spell out the words "hell" "boobies" and "leslie"! That definitely qualifies it for making the decisions for every human being on this planet!

Such a hare-brained notion could never gain traction, obviously. It's hard enough convincing people to wear a mask during a worldwide pandemic, there's no way you're gonna get all the people of Earth to agree to let a computer...


It's OK everyone! They've got anti-violence tubes! You know, tubes? Those things they used to put in televisions a long time ago? So if any of the super computer's vacuum tubes blow out, someone can just climb up to the mountain palace and test them in the handy tube tester thoughtfully placed there by our friends at RCA.

Of course, not EVERYONE is on board with the idea of peace on Earth, and scheme to get the computer on board with their world conquest plans... or they could always, I dunno, just do the world conquest without getting the computer's permission? I mean, the computer's set up to make decisions but it doesn't seem to have any way of enforcing those decisions, so everyone's just kinda on the honour system here, surely someone with an ominous "H" on their hat can just... ignore what the computer tells them to do?

I'm only including this to clear up the "Roe" stuff at the beginning btw. The computer's name is Roe.

It's OK everyone-- Roe's got vacuum tubes AND humility. The two ingredients necessary in a great leader. Given that those two things have been completely lacking in every world leader in history, I'd say they're onto something here.

Thanks to Roe, the war between the floral sarongs and the candy-striped sarongs has finally been settled, to everyone's satisfaction, except the people of the plaid sarongs, whose loud patterns can't be expected to get along with anyone.

Meanwhile, those sinister schemers have come up with the ultimate weapon to overcome Roe-- they've built their own tubes!

Again, guys, you could just do what you want, the computer doesn't actually DO anything. And if it did, I'm not sure what good it'd do you to make Roe selfish instead of, I dunno, telling it to obey your orders. It seems like all you're doing is trying to give a computer a will of its own. Anyway, I wonder what very real evil organization these guys work for?

OHHHH there it is. Sure hope Roe turns up in the MCU! He could be Dr. Strange's sassy new sidekick!

However, Hydra's dastardly scheme has been foiled! Had they tested their tubes on the tester thoughtfully placed there by our friends at RCA, they surely would have been informed, via the needle on the dial pointing to "dead, needs replacement".

Bet you didn't know Roe could move his arms and hands like a person. Came as a surprise to me!

And what is the secret to Roe's incorruptibility? Why, his cripplingly low self-esteem, of course. Let's say goodbye to Roe, as he slowly eases his way into a tiny corner, curling up into the fetal position. Bye Roe! Hope you feel better soon!

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