The course of true love never runs smoothly, as they say. But when somebody's determined to get in there and really screw things up, well, the opportunities for disaster are huge! Let's watch as one matrimony-minded Machiavelli works her wiles to wreck pretty much everything.

The first thing she wrecks is this physical comic book, which is rated "R" for "ripped". But she almost makes up for it with the perfectly normal way she works her name and the name of her roommate into a perfectly normal conversation, the kind of conversation any two people would have who'd been living together for four years but just wanted to confirm exactly who they were, because they were worried they'd suffered a traumatic brain injury, or had been whisked back from a journey through an Oz-style fantasy dimension, or something.

Joan was bored with this dance until suddenly new-style Tad showed up! Here's a hint fellas - ditch the baggy tweeds and the pipe and the gals will think you're a new man! Unlike drippy Harris over there.

Joan is literally trying to drag Tad upstairs to show him some etchings. Cool your jets, lady.

So fellas, if your date ever says "let's get it over with," well, let me just say that date is NOT going well. Even if it does involve an 'ivy hoop,' which I think is some kind of mid-century dance step, or maybe a breakfast cereal. Maybe it's something like a chocolate fountain, but for ivy? The 1950s were weird

Joan, jealous of her roommate's hunky date Tad, and confused by the savage rip in what is, to her, their entire space-time continuum, well Joan lashes out by dropping a horrific rumor bomb right in the middle of chem lab!

And here's Joan stealing Lisa's date right from under Lisa's nose. This is DEFINITELY behavior that will get you kicked out of the Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants!

Looks like that ballet- it was Mussorgsky's "Boyfriend Stealin' Girl" - worked its romantic magic on Tad.

"Don't mind me, kids. Just pretend I ain't even here, watchin' you paw each other in the rear view mirror."

Ya see, Tad was hers all along, she didn't have to go spreading rumors about Lisa or lying about Lisa not being available or telling Harris to go jump in the lake. She didn't have to. She WANTED to. It's fun!

Has Joan's anti-Lisa gossip campaign to Sally boomeranged all the way to the pages of that titan of collegiate investigative journalism, "Campus Cues"?

Are they really, Tad? Roll up those slacks and let's compare gams.

It's Ed! Returned from harrowing ankle therapy to shock us all with the true facts behind their secret engagement!

I know blind items like this were common in newspapers at the time, but this one is not nearly blind enough. Might actually be legally actionable. One thing's for sure, this definitely isn't Joan's fault.

Whoa. You're saying you didn't know your roommate and her steady boyfriend were sweethearts? You must be a whiz at those "connect the dots" pictures, Joan

The editor of every college paper is in his or her office at all times, day and night, weekends, weekdays, it doesn't matter, what's important is printing unfounded gossip about fellow students.

Here at Crucible College For Girls we don't need actual wrongdoing to expel students, merely the accusation of almost being caught is enough. We don't INVENT our chatter, Joan! We let somebody ELSE make it up, and THEN we print it!

Well cheer up Lisa, wherever you are, I know you had a fight with your secret fiancé and your reputation has been ruined in the school paper, but things could be worse, you could be hit by a... uh... never mind.

Sure Joan. You forced the newspaper at gunpoint to print lies, you shoved Lisa out in front of that truck, you're an evil mastermind, sure.

Let's let byegones be byegones, Joan. What's a few reputation-destroying rumors between dear, sweet friends?

Well OBVIOUSLY "Campus Cues" wouldn't print it if it wasn't a totally unverified rumor! Enjoy your double wedding in the middle of your quadruple college graduation, you crazy kids!

Wow, what a thrill ride! I'm sure you're all dazed and disoriented, needing a familiar face to ground us in reality. Well, this comic (Thrilling Romances #7) has you covered!

Let the winning smile of Kirk Douglas calm your soul and reassure your faith in contemporary gender roles and American values. Then catch him in the upcoming Billy Wilder film "Ace In The Hole," which will demolish it all over again!

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