We like our super heroes to do super things. Wrestle elephants, fly to other planets, travel to other dimensions, get good parking spots, et cetera. Trouble is that most of the time super heroes aren't doing those amazing things, they're just trying to get through one day at a time without their friends and neighbors finding out they can elephant wrestle and fly to other planets. Because if their friends knew, they'd have to help everybody move all the time. And that's a pain!

And here we go. Superman is a boy and Lana Lang is always trying to find out if Clark Kent is actually that Superboy, even going so far as to load a suitcase full of bricks and plant it where Clark will have to pick it up and expose his Superboy strength. Walking up the stairs carrying all those bricks, one, two at a time? Don't you have chores or homework, Lana?

One of those rockin' 1950s teen "pin the S on Superboy" parties - they were all the rage - is about to go wildly out of control!

The imminent revelation of his secret identity is causing Clark to get all nostalgic about the very first time Lana tried to invade his privacy, which was right around the time he delivered a Braille copy of Moby Dick to a blind doctor who lives alone without a telephone, which doesn't seem wise, but it was the 50s, people were free to be left alone. Unless you were Clark Kent, I guess.

Professor Lang spends lavishly on expeditions overseas to loot priceless artifacts from third world countries, but can't spring for the extra fifty bucks for a truck with a lift gate? This one's on you, Lang

The important thing Superboy always has to remember is to perform his super feats where other people can see and comment upon them in a fashion that clarifies things for the less intelligent readers of Superboy comics.

"Why, that shy, timid lad I met wears glasses, while this strapping young go-getter here does not. Clearly they're two different boys."

Rather than just tell the dentist "yeah, our well water has a lot of fluoride in it" or "our family is wise to the terrible schemes of Big Sugar", Clark might have to dig into his dwindling stash of Kryptonian junk food and give himself a super cavity!

So look out, everybody out there who avoids between-meal snacks, brushes three times a day and flosses often - the better your teeth are, the more Lana's going to suspect you're Superboy.

Disgusted by Clark's cowardly dental-chair behavior, Lana now feels she must have been crazy to have held certain... er... ideas about him. I'm beginning to think Lana's interest in a passed out, submissive Superboy/Clark isn't merely platonic.

Yes Clark, please fill the room with nitrous oxide. IT'S PARTY TIME!!!

Sure, it would be easier to forge a reasonable facscimile of a dental record, way easier than creating a replica human tooth good enough to fool a veteran dentist. But Superboy fools his dentists with style.

yeah, that's how Superboy knows nobody's suspicious, when people come out of the office and watch you leave with bewildered looks on their faces, nothing to worry about there, they definitely won't be talking about this for years to come in the way people talk about stuff like this in small towns.

An epidemic strains the public health system and suddenly everybody's got to show proof they've been vaccinated. Somehow this seems REALLY FAMILIAR

Blind, cranky, dangerous old Dr. Muir immediately starts blasting away. That's what we want in America, heavily armed blind men who shoot at the least provocation! Because freedom, or something

Hey Superboy, do you have any super powers that involve psychiatric therapy? Because this guy is nuttier than squirrel poop. Nobody is concocting elaborate deception schemes to trick you, Doctor Blindy McBang Bang.

Hey, this is like that time those two hemispheres of plutonium came together in the lab and created "sparks" way brighter than sunlight, and, by the way, killed two nuclear physicists.

Yes, Superboy's got a scheme to falsify vaccination certificates. Truth, justice, whatever, gotta get that cert!

"So Clark, I see your certificate is signed by crazy old Doc Muir, who is blind, paranoid, and heavily armed. Guess I won't be checking up on THAT particular certificate." And thus is Superboy's secret identity protected!

Next up on our trip down Lana Suspicion Memory Lane is this little episode where Lana stamps her little foot and DEMANDS Clark prove he isn't Superboy by making Superboy appear at a time when both Clark and Superboy are visible to her. Anybody else would be like, guess what Lana, it's your claim, it's up to you to prove it, I don't gotta do NOTHIN'

Instead Clark immediately ditches his plan for a fun skiing day and instead builds a snow Superboy, puts his costume on it, colors it flesh color somehow, makes it talk, and then makes it seem to fly away. Which honestly, is only going to make Lana extremely curious about how Superboy knew she'd challenged Clark.

We return to our exciting party, already in progress, as we learn the secret door didn't slide open because the robots held it closed. So what lessons did we learn? Fake your medical records, put a lock on your secret robot storage closet, and don't host parties in your robot storage closet-adjacent rec room. And get your vaccinations from doctors who don't shoot first and answer questions later, maybe.

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