What would happen if the world forgot about Millie The Model? You know, Millie The Model, legacy Marvel Comics character who went from cheesecakey 50s comedy to drippy 60s soap opera and then back to comedy and then from there straight to cancellation? What if the world forgot about this character that we're having to remind you about? Hm. Maybe the world *did* forget about Millie The Model and things were more or less fine. Okay, let's change the angle. What if Millie the Model forgot about... herself?

That's the premise of this movie-length tale of soul-stirring suspense! Turns out movies were 18 pages long back in the day. Anyway let's crack the absolutely destroyed cover of this beat-up old comic and get to forgettin'!

Just another average day here at the Hanover Agency, which is in the business of sending beautiful women across the country to glamorous resorts in Las Vegas. These days we call this "trafficking" but in the 60s it was OK! Good luck, Millie.

One thing about top models, they're so humble.

As we all know, when a woman changes her hair color she becomes totally unrecognizable, yet she retains all of her beauty and good looks that made her so recognizable. Don't ask me how it works, it just does.

Just a marvel of hair coloring, completely changing Millie into a totally different person who at the same time is a gorgeous top model. Even Millie's own mother wouldn't recognize her, which says more about Millie's mother's eyesight than it does about anything else.

A chance encounter with what appears to be a cast member from "Guys And Dolls" slams Millie into a lamp-post - THAT'S ILLEGAL CHECKING. Where's the ref? REF!

Well, I assume you've seen TV shows and movies and have generally been exposed to pop culture cliches, and as such, you fully buy into the concept that a bump on the noggin can cause total amnesia. Because if you don't, the rest of this comic is gonna be tough going.

Millie has lost her memory and has no idea who she is - and due to the amazing identity concealing powers of a quick dye job, she is completely unrecognizable. Good one, beauty industrial complex!

It seems Millie hasn't a driver's license or a library card or a membership card in any one of dozens of potential organizations, so there's nothing in her pocketbook that gives any hints to her identity. Not gonna suggest "credit card," because a woman couldn't get one of those without her husband's permission back then, back then in the, you know, the good old days.

So the only thing to do is to fly to Las Vegas.

Can you just imagine a time when you could roll right up to LaGuardia and get onto a plane without showing two forms of ID, going through three security check points, and displaying your boarding pass to five different bored TSA employees? Put yourself in Millie's shoes - that she didn't have to take off - and enjoy air travel for once!

When in Vegas, just attach yourself to the obvious pimp rounding up new talent at the airport. What's the worst that could happen?

"Acting is hard" says Millie The Model

One detail I love about this era of Millie The Model is how the creepy old men who constantly surround Millie to tell her how beautiful she is are invariably accompanied by their wives, chaperoning on behalf of the Comics Code to make sure everything is on the up and up. America's young readers must never learn that the model industry is a snake pit of substance abuse, exploitation, and degradation!

She just CAME from New York, why on EARTH would she go BACK to New York???

And it's BACK TO NEW YORK. I sure hope the Hanover Agency has need of a girl with my exact looks!

Everyone - even Chili, who spends hours every day trying to burn holes in Millie with her eyes - everyone is all like "well this person looks a lot like Millie but it can't be Millie, because hair colors never change here in the fashion industry"

Seems like "Jill" is going to work out great working for Hanover. And since technically Millie is still on the payroll, this means she's getting two paychecks? I won't tell if you won't!

Clicker was JUST ABOUT to abandon Millie for this new, mysterious, dark-haired version of Millie. Then he remembered he needed to write that personal ad about pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Think you can't go on forever brooding about the woman who inexplicably ditched you? Well, I know it's tough here in the pre-internet incel days, but man up, buddy, you can do it. You CAN let this ditching define the rest of your life!

Clicker didn't get much sleep last night, but he's wide awake enough now to know that the heart wants what the heart wants, and also that boners never lie.

"Yeah, Millie went off to an advertising agency, and from there she vanished, and we didn't ask any questions about where she went or what she looked like when she left, like if they'd dyed her hair or anything like that, this entire story depends on an office full of people desperately worried about someone who at the same time won't make the slightest effort to find out what happened. But enough about me. What's your story, amnesia lady who looks just like the lady who vanished?"

It's amazing that this guy Clicker, who obviously can't see something right in front of his face, is a professional photographer.

As useful as it is in certain situations, this kissing-based system of identification never quite caught on, for some reason.

So we're a month or so into this saga and this is the first time Millie has washed her hair, which, yeah, I bet it DOES need a washing, Millie!

The phrase "do the drapes match the carpet" is coming to mind here, but this is a Code-approved comic which means we aren't allowed to speculate on such things. Or maybe Mr. Phillipe gave her the full package deal? Who knows.

And if you've seen TV shows and movies and have generally been exposed to pop culture cliches, you fully buy into the concept that another bump on the noggin will bring back an amnesia victim's full memory.

Two months without washing your hair?! That hair was gonna be black with or without the hair dye!

The love of your life? Buddy, she vanished and you didn't make one phone call, not the slightest attempt to find her, and when she did show up all it took was a dye job to blast her out of your mind. Love? Whatever pal. That man from Millie's past can't show up fast enough!

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